Each Book is Precious

The day we are born, a new book is opened in the Library of Life; chapters are first written by our soul's guardian as we learn our way in this world, then we take over the writing of our own story until the book is closed upon our death.

It then provokes the thought... does destiny already seal our fate on what path our life will take or do we have some control on what happens?

Where are you in your life's story?

Do you love? Do you hate? Do you even know what it is yet? Can you give love freely and openly without expectations? Can you drop the hate and anger and forgive?

Are you rich? Are you destitute? Financially, spirituality or in your attitude?

Are you happy? Are you depressed? In your life? If your relationships? In anything or everything?

My book started out nicely. Wonderful, loving parents who cared and nurtured me and my sisters. By the time, I was able to take my own story over, I had an easy childhood with lots of great memories and fun. As I got into my teens, I had a hard time knowing what I wanted to do with my life, where I was going and I stumbled and failed a lot including my marriage as I got through my twenties.

I will be 49 in less than a month and it has taken a long time but I found that through all my trials and tribulations thus far, I have closed a lot of old, dark chapters in my life and have started to write ones that are filled with light, love and gratitude. Filled with understanding and compassion for where I am in my life and with all those I share this wonderful place and time. I still have moments or days that are dark and I wonder why I am here and where I am going but I found that it may take a lifetime to get the answers. What is important is not to always need an answer and to live each day as it comes.

What I know is that I have to live my life as best as I can, open my heart more often and take risks so that I can take the road less traveled and see where I get to.

We may never know if we are on the right path but someone once told me, "trust your gut" so I do that now. I may find that down the road, it was the wrong way, but I will know that I took a risk, didn't live my life in a cocoon, in the same old place, in the same old rut and I bet I get a good lesson to pass on while having lots of fun along the way.

In our books, there will be times of much joy and happiness; sadness and countless heartbreaks. Success and wealth; failure and poverty. Triumphs and open doors; disappointments and set backs. Love and passion; anger and denial.

How we can get back on track and write a better ending is what counts. How we forgive and move on can make us a stronger person and better for all the experiences.

You have to see both sides of a situation. You may have been disappointed or had your heart broken but in turn, you may have disappointed many people and broke many hearts.

I hope that while you continue to write your life's story, you experience multitudes of emotions and situations so that it expands your view of what the world is all about.

Open your heart knowing it could be broken many times but know how it feels because the next time, it will be better.

Help your fellow human brother or sister in need. Volunteer to help out our children.

Be kind to others but more importantly, be kind to yourself.

There are far too many people who are stuck in their own little world; are frighten to death to get out and see the world. Instead of reading about a place or watching TV about a place, go visit it in person and see with your own eyes how it is.

Get off your ass and stop watching that damned TV and get out and commune with nature even if it is going to the nearest park to read a book, write in your journal or just people watch.

I hope that you take risks in your life so that at the end, you know you have accomplished so much and it will make your life's story an interesting adventure for all to read.

To all your dreams, big and small...

Namaste

Memorial Day

I am a military child or as we are fondly known as, a military brat; with that title comes responsibility. To honor all soldiers who fought in wars from our past until today. Those men and women who watch over us while we sleep and those who sacrificed their lives so we can live ours in peace.

I was born into it, I grew up in it and I am better for it. I honor it because my hero, my dad, was a lifer. He was a young punk who didn't know where he was going or what to do, so he joined the Navy at 18. He learned courage, honor and to be dependable and ended his military career after 20 years. He wanted to do more so he continued this career in the Civil Service, first with the Navy then the Army, for 22 years. He did this so that he could continue to help his comrades on active duty, who still fought for and protected us.

When my dad died, I had to go through his paperwork, arrange his funeral, and everything else that went into losing a loved one, more when you have a loved one that was in the military the full term. It was one of the hardest thing for me to do as I was laying my hero to rest. I miss him every day but I know he is with me in spirit when I need him.

While going through his military paperwork, I found that my father had been awarded the Bronze Star for his part in the Vietnam War aboard the USS Aludra. He never made a request for the medal (which is what you do to actually get it) so we never knew about it until after he passed. That was my dad. He just did his job honestly and as honorably as he could without fanfare. He didn't need awards to know inside that he did his best. He was a true American Hero.

That is what I grew up with. At times, I rebelled because that certain way of life for military kids and the responsibility that goes with it. I didn't want that but in hind sight, it was a good education for me and that is why I am very patriotic. I am one of those that will stop a soldier to thank them, anytime I see one. I live in a military town so I see them a lot here. LOL They appreciate that I do that and I want them to know that I appreciate them from the bottom of my heart.

With Memorial Day coming this Monday, I wanted to remember my hero and his brothers who also served. I know that these days, Memorial Day means that summer is starting but for me, it has a deeper meaning. There are those who are not home because they are in another country fighting for our right to enjoy all the BBQs, parties and fun times we get with family and friends.

I hope that each of you will take a moment, send out a prayer to all those who are not at home and if you cross the path of a soldier, stop him or her and thank them for their services and sacrifices.

I hope your weekend is filled with many delights and as you start your Memorial Day celebrations, always know that we cannot take our freedom and the peace we have for granted. For the history and/or information on the holiday, check this link: Memorial Day.

Namaste

In memory of the three Kerlin men who served. Thank you and rest in peace, brothers.


Uncle Bill, left (Army)
Dad (Dave), middle (Navy)
Uncle Eddie, right (Army)


Circa 1954, boys are home for the holidays in Pittsburgh, PA

Technology and Nature?

A good friend of mine and I got into a discussion about technology and where we see it heading in a few years. Now mind you, my dissertation for my PhD was on how technology is overtaking humanity and our spirituality and how we can keep it in check.

He is very technical and works for a cell phone company, testing all the new phones coming out. He gets to see how well some work and how some are only good for being used as a phone.

Before he started back to school to get his MBA, he used to love driving to all kinds of places, taking day trips, taking pictures and enjoying the outdoors but at the same time, he would utilize technology to keep in touch.

I love being outdoors at a beautiful park, mountaintop, near the ocean or lake, taking pictures and just being with nature; especially in the winter. And I love technology! I am good at it and highly technical. How do we balance them both?

We decided that the misconception a lot of non-technical people have about technology is that you are tied to a PC/laptop (or a Mac) and so that means you are stuck indoors.  Bzzzzzzzzzzzz!!!  Wrong!!!

I do all my status updates on Facebook, Twitter or any other social networking site from my phone while I am outdoors enjoying time with nature or with friends or even while I am on my walk in the mornings.

This blog, right now, is being created while I am standing in my patio outside in the cool breeze, sipping at a glass of wine and watching the clouds cover the moon. Yes, the rain is coming again soon. I am doing this blog, from my phone but enjoying the evening outdoors.

That is the beauty of technology... you don't have to be stuck inside. Yes, that's right, I am not tied to a PC while I blog. The luxury of technology today for someone like me who is highly technical, that loves to write and still enjoy being outdoors is that I can do it all and send via my phone. How simple is that?

I love sending funny or cute pictures to Facebook while I am out and about. I love sharing my adventures with my friends and today, I can be out and still share via technology.

So the next time you feel like you are stuck indoors because you want to blog, write, email or IM with friends, take your phone, get out and enjoy both! You will need a smart phone, my friends and it is well worth it.

(I took this on Saturday while at the Farmers Market, having coffee with my best friend at the cafe across the way. The sky was magnificent!)

May your day outdoors be filled with wonderful moments and may you capture them and share with others.

Namaste!

Is Love Worth Waiting or Fighting For?

In life, there are no guarantees except that we will all die.

I got into a conversation with a friend at work and she said she was afraid to give her heart to this guy she really likes. When she first told me about him, she had been in a relationship for a short time last year but they parted because they had too many differences and he was having financial problems.

He had called out of the blue recently and she was trying to avoid him because she was very attracted to him and the sound of his voice gave her a thrill she hadn't felt in some time. Slowly, they have been talking and he said something that caught her attention. "I want to be madly in love with you." She heard those words and realized she wanted to be madly in love with him as well but was scared of the feelings it invoked in her.

Her exact words to me were, "he has too much passion." I asked her what the hell she was talking about? There is no such thing as too much passion. I mean, what is the worse that can happen? You can have a great time, have tons of passion in your life... so it can sizzle out but you learn something about yourself... OR you can have a loving and passionate man that is in your life for a long time. Either way, where is the down side to that, I asked her? You have to give love to get it and if he wants to, then what's the problem?

It made me think. Some times, you find that one person that is worth waiting for, worth fighting for. You know with every part of your being that you were meant to be together. You may not be with that person right now or you were and you had to split but you just know that person was the one.

So what do you do? Not what I did...

I got scared of it and it got me into a lot of trouble... actually, I put a lot of drama into it and now it is gone. I loved him but he never loved me or cared about me but that is ok. You can't make someone love you. It has been a valuable lesson for me and something to take along as I establish my relationship with this new person in my life. But I will tell you, this is what I learned...

Cherish the love you have and give. Give it unconditionally, freely and openly even if it is not returned. Let it flow and let it come as it is. Be yourself in each moment. Learn to have your own life. Let the person have theirs. Don't put expectations on love or the person. Cherish the person. Communicate honestly. Trust yourself. Trust them to be honorable. Live your life. Let them live theirs. Be grateful for what you have, for what you get and even if the person goes, for what they gave.

Sending out unconditional love, gratitude and hope.

Namaste

Humor to Get Through the Times

I didn't do a lot of drinking but have done a lot of thinking.  Yeah, I said I wouldn't be blogging but writing is in my blood so I had to put my thoughts somewhere, so why not where I always go... right here!  LOL

I am using humor to get me through this week as it has been one of the weirdest ones on record, so far.

So here it is, plain and simple.  My company like other companies decided to lay a bunch of people off and yes, being in a department that is overhead, I got notice.  That is the downside.  The upside is that because they like my work and they didn't really want to let me go, I was extended through almost the end of the year so I can help them lay off employee in another department.  The irony is not lost on me, I assure.  So I have been put on the canning committee, as I am telling people.  My friend was also put on this project so she is in the same boat.  We have it better than rest of those who will end their tenure with our company July 15th.  My friend and I along with two other co-workers are on this canning committee so we have changed our names to Peaches (her) and Pineapple (me)... canning... are you with me?  Humor, peoples!!!

What we found is that we can post for jobs in the department we are moving into to help, so we may get to stay longer.  If not, I move to the east coast to start over, so to speak.  Might as well follow my dream and get there now, right?  Since I have my PhD, I can go back to teaching again.

It has been a week to get my thoughts back in order as I have to realize that my job is not what makes me who I am.  I know who I am and what I want to do, so it is just doing things the right way and getting through the day without hurting people.  There were a lot of "a-ha" moments that were eye-openers and I was able to get through them without being negative or hurtful.  I am human, so emotions does come into play but I did take a lot of steps back during lot of conversations before reacting.  Corporate America... they just want to get to the next level, no matter who they hurt.  I get that but it's not who I am, who I want to be or how I want to live.  Thus humor...

I hope that if you are in my situation, you will land on your feet soon and take each day with gratitude and love knowing that what you put out, comes back to you.

Sending out light and love and lots of humor!

Namaste!

Thoughts Affect Your Attitude

Did you know that everything you do is a habit? You wake up almost the same way every morning; you probably have some routine down getting ready in the morning and everything else you do throughout the day.

Did you know that your attitude is also habit as well and to change your life you need to change your attitude? One of the things that affect us the most is our thinking. The power of our thoughts is amazing and we still do not know the extent of it but it can do a lot for us and others.

One thing we easily get pulled in to is thinking negatively. It surrounds us so it is no wonder we cannot get out of it. Turn on the TV and the news always has information that does not uplift, we are constantly at war somewhere in the world and people always want to gossip behind people’s backs.

We start our day out in a good mood and think “today, I am going to be positive and think positively.” Then you bump into one negative person, then another and then yet another and your intention of being positive is out the window and you find yourself snapping at people. Ooops, what went wrong? You got pulled in to other energies and turned your positive into negative.

Going back to what I originally said… everything we do including our thoughts is a habit. Those thoughts dictate how our lives are, whether we live, day to day, wondering where our next meal is coming, live in luxurious estates with so much money or just in between with a comfortable living. We pull those energies in and our day to day thought keeps us there. BUT with those thoughts are our actions as well. Once we get comfortable thinking we are in this place, we keep doing the same thing over and over so that it does not go anywhere.

You may have a thought of doing something different but because of habit, you do it once and then back to your routine. So how do you break it? That is up to you to figure out because everyone does things differently. Some use notes to themselves to change their thoughts, others use things such as bracelets or a ring to remind of the change they want to make. Whatever way you go, you have to keep doing it until it becomes a habit.

One of the things I did a couple years ago was to get rid of my cable so I don’t watch TV unless it is to watch a movie with my DVD player. I don’t have any bad or negative news coming in that way. I also avoid people that I know are negative and used to pull me in to their negativity. I surround myself with positive, spiritual people to help me change my thoughts. I have various inspirational or motivational sites that send me emails with great messages every day. When I read it gives my day a wonderful start and on a positive note. I listen to positive and uplifting music more often now.

If you are in the mood to make that shift, get a friend to help you. When two people combine their energies, it becomes easier to make the change from negative to positive. The best thing is that positive thinking really helps you to feel better inside. You will be surprised how fast positive thoughts can draw more positive people in your life to help you change your thoughts and help you help others change theirs as well.

Sending you positive energy to send you into the light!

Take a Day Trip

When was the last time you took a vacation? I mean, get out of town for some time and explore other cities or towns? In the current economic situation, I am sure it has been a while.

I understand that there are times when you just can't take vacation, though one is badly needed. The alternative? How about a day trip out of your local area? It still has the power to rejuevenate you, help you unwind and you get to explore places you only heard about. We get stuck in thinking that vacations require a lot of work and preparation but day trips are so much more easier.

When I first started to do this years ago, my mom thought it was funny that I would get up early in the morning, get into my car and go exploring. Back then, I would take my daughter and we would go different places and have a great time.

Now my mom understands the value in it and loves to hear about my adventures. And it is an adventure for the day. Something new. Something exciting. Something different. Yet it is close enough to home that I can drive back but far enough that I see different parts of my state.

Routine gets boring and it has a way to make you feel like life is just passing you by but for me, taking a day trip out of town makes me feel alive, allows me to meet people and see what is going on outside my little world.

I do a lot of trips on my own in my neck of the woods and have seen a bit of California now. I have lots of different memories and I love it. I will start writing about them and get them down for posterity.

That is the nice thing about these day trips. You get more memories from them because they are one special day at a time.

There are so many places to visit that you can look up on the Internet and make a list of places you would like to see. When you do go, you can check them off and move on to the next. It is so much fun and not a lot of work needed. You don't need to pack, except to be prepared for the unexpected weather. Just hop into the car and drive off! Going to forests, beaches, lakes, mountains or rivers can be the perfect day trip and a relaxing one, at that. If you want to be green about your day trips, check out your local bus or train routes, see where they go and take a day trip on them.

The nice thing about day trips is that it costs a lot less than traveling long distances, with a rental car, hotel and food costs, etc. Day trips is gas money, lunch/dinner and any fees to get into some place you want to check out for that day. And at the end of the day, you get to sleep in your own bed!

One thing I notice when I go on my day trips is that it seems to make my weekend, which is when I normally go on one, so much longer and when I get to work on Monday, I have something fun to talk about with my co-workers.

Think about all the places you haven't seen in your own backyard and make plans to go on a day trip and explore!

Happy exploring, my friends and safe journey!

See the Good in All

We need to take a long look into all things in our lives to see the inherent good that is in everything and everyone. Of course this is not an easy thing to do when the people, place or circumstance is not what we want it to be and worse, we have no control over it how things are turning out.

One of the things I am working on is practicing acceptance with everything that comes my way but the paradox to that is that when I am in a circumstance and not feeling quite right, I tend to forget to see the good in it but have to take a step back and re-analyze what is going on before reacting or keep from shutting down.

There is some pleasure in being able to accept things as they are and see the good because if we continue to see the good, we pull the energy into us and we understand the circumstance, place or person better. It is a slow process but I think it will be worth it down the road. To see even the people who used or hurt us in a different light and being able to feel good about having had them in your life to make you who you are today. They taught you something about yourself and isn't that always a good thing?

And perhaps they learned something about themselves as well and has changed for the better because they saw the infinite good in you. I think that is why they come into our lives. You know the quote... "People come into your life for a reason, for a season or for life." The ones that are still in it are probably for life but the others may be for a reason or season, to teach you something that the Universe or Spirit feels you need to know. And there are always those who come and go because that is what you both need.

In this dog-eat-dog world, people do not understand being still and have to do some sort of busywork that keeps their mind distracted. This can blind us to the good that we need to see and see with our hearts, not our eyes.

Take time to stop and take stock of who came into your life and why; who is in your life and why and perhaps there may be those who will re-enter your life because there is unfinished business or because you both needed a break. Regardless, open your heart and your mind to see the good that person has done for you and allow them to see the good you have done for them.

Sending out goodness and love!

Namaste

Good Quote

True friendship is when two people can walk in opposite directions, yet remain side by side.

Be Happy Every Day

Being happy doesn’t come naturally to everybody and not everyone understands how to be happy every day. That doesn't mean that there are times when you are not upset, angry or sad because there will be but overall, you can shake those away and feel happy again.

What causes people to be unhappy? That is easy... negative thinking. Instead of focusing on what we have in our lives and be grateful for them, we tend to think what we want. Always wanting but never satisfied with anything that comes because we are not happy with ourselves, so how can you be happy with anyone or anything else?

I will tell you this... it is hard to be constantly happy but after some time of basically training yourself to be happy, it gets easy. People used to say I was nice and easy going but had a real bitchy side. Oh, yes, I did! That is pretty much gone and I get a lot of compliments now about my positive attitude and how happy I always seem to be. And you know what? I really am but it took time for me to change but in the end, I feel good.

It really is all about how you think and what you are grateful for. Sure, there will be challenges in our lives. There will be hearts that need mending but if you are normally a happy person, it is easier and the healing process is faster. Always seeing the good side of life rather than the bad gets you through each day of trials and tribulations.

We have to stop focusing on all the wrongs that happen in our lives and set our minds to all the good that does. That way, it draws more and more of that good energy into our lives.

Think about this. What makes you happy? I mean it, stop right now and really think about what makes you happy.

A person? A thought or quote? A song? A smell, like fresh baked cinnamon rolls or fresh coffee?

What if you were to start using that as your happiness start point? When you feel upset, down or unhappy, think of the one thing that makes you happy and go from there. Eventually, you will feel happy most of the time.

Find happiness in the simple things. The way the raindrops hang off the edge of a leaf after a rainstorm, hearing the sound of chimes on a breezy day or seeing a rainbow in the sky and enjoying that moment. If we cannot find happiness in the simple things, then the bigger things won't mean that much to us, either and we will always be wanting.

Sure, there will be occasion when big moments make you absolutely happy. My example is that my daughter recently got married. As her father and I walked her down the aisle, I was so proud of her. She found someone that she shares her happiness with and was marrying her best friend/soul mate. They are truly happy together and to see that, it was infectious. Everyone was giddy and it was a beautiful, funfilled evening with good friends and family to share in that special day for them. But honestly, it was also all those small moments that led up to that day that made it extra special.

All week before the wedding, she, her now sister-in-law  and I hung out and did wedding errands. Sure, they were chores but we had fun with one another, enjoying the simple things and the laughing and giggling made each moment special that led up to her wedding day. We had our rehearsal dinner the night before and again had a great time.

The morning of her wedding, my daughter called me early, at 6am, and said, she wanted to spend the morning with just her and I or as she called it, "momma and me time" before she became a married woman. She stopped at a cafe between her hotel and my place, grabbed a couple cups of coffee, came over to hang out in my living room. We chatted, laughed, cried, reminisced and enjoyed the time together before the day started. The small moments together that led to the big moment that evening. What a happy memory I have of that day.

Do you have trouble telling when you are happy? Try keeping a journal and write all the fun, happy, enjoyable times in it. Eventually, it will get so big you will be writing in journal after journal but by then, you won't need it as you will know what it feels like. Writing about our emotions is the best way to understanding them.

One thing I need to bring up. Happiness may not always come easily into your life. You may have been taught growing up that certain feelings were not acceptable. As a child you get conditioned to be a certain way in your household but the problem is that you take that into your adulthood with you and it gets harder to change.

You may even have been conditioned by anger, guilt, sadness or fear so those are more comfortable emotions for you. Toss them away! NOW! It feels good to be happy and the sooner you get that and feel it, the faster you will know all those wasted days you spent feeling angry, guilty, sad or afraid.

I have to say this. Happiness is a choice you make each day you wake up. You choose how you feel. You wake up and you can turn happiness on. I promise that to you. I even wrote a blog on promises but that's another topic. LOL! Here is an exercise for you that I did to "train" myself.

Keep a piece of paper next to your bedside. On that paper write a word or phrase that makes you happy. A person's name so that when you read it, it brings a smile to your face. A place that brings great memories back to make you smile. A thing that makes you happy so you smile. Something that was said to you that brings you joy.

When you wake up, look over at that piece of paper and read what it says every morning before you get out of bed. You're smiling. Now keep doing this until when you wake up one morning and you are smiling regardless.

You can do something else to take with you all day. Keep another piece of paper that fits into your wallet and write something else that makes you happy. During the day, pull it out and read it. Smile, feeling the happiness enfuse you and place it back into your wallet. Keep doing this every day. You know where this is going, right? You don't need those pieces of paper anymore and you know what it feels like to just be happy every day.

Someone once told me that I was special and that I made him feel special. How huge is that? So when I am down, I remember those words and it lifts me.

As I close, I will ask you to do one thing right now. Find one thing to be happy about and let it fill your heart.

Sending out happy and loving energy. Bright blessing and whatever you are doing this weekend, be happy and fulfilled!

Promises

Are you as good as your word when you make promises? You have to be careful when making promises they are filled with energy and taken seriously by our Karma.

Since humans came to this world, we have have been making promises to one another. Those who keep their promises are highly regarded as people of integrity, while those who don’t keep their promises cannot be taken seriously or worse, can’t be trusted most times. We forget how powerful our words are, and we use them to make those promises that are never fulfilled and causing people to see us in a bad light.

There are promises we may have made to ourselves that we don’t remember or want to remember. "I won't smoke again" or "I won't drink again" but there you are the next day with a cigarette in your hand or sipping on another beer.

There may have been promises made that you to others that you need to clear out of your life so that you can fulfill your potential because having the energies of all those promises you made can harm you. One way to get a "clean slate" is to release ourselves from those promises by going to those whom we made the promises and apologize for the hurt you may have caused. It is a very cleansing feeling to do that. I have gotten a hold of most whom I have made promises to and apologized for not following through.

Yes, there may be some you may never talk to or see again but know those words will be left hanging as you didn't follow through and that can hinder your future. The best way is to know what you did, take responsibility as I have and try to not to make those same mistakes. (Sometimes, I have to repeat my mistakes, just to make sure. LOL!)

Words can cut a deeper wound than an actual infliction of a knife on skin. When you make promises, know that your Karma is always listening and some day, you will have to atone for them when you break your word.

If you want to be taken seriously going forward, you need to realize that any time you speak words of promise, they become sacred and you need to be true to them, promising only what you can actually deliver including to yourself. This allows your conscience to be clear and your energy clean. You are only as good as your word.

Sending out healing energy to you all!

Picnics!

Being outside is lots of fun. The sun, the breeze, the feeling of freedom when you are with nature. When my daughter was young, we used to go to local parks or camp grounds and take a picnic with us along with our books and notebooks. We would find the perfect spot, lay our goodies out and just enjoy the day, munching away while we talked, read or wrote. It was something simple but it was a special occasion, too.

There is something unique about eating outdoors. The sound of the birds and the bugs as well as the openness you feel being surrounded by trees, a creek or river nearby and the wide span of grass you sit or lie on. It allows you to unwind and let the stress go while reconnecting with Mother Nature.

A blanket laid out, a basket of yummy foods and the view around you to help pass the afternoon with loved ones. I think the open air makes the food taste so much more delicious!

You don't have to stick to the traditional picnic foods of sandwiches and chips but allow your palate the finer foods as a delicious crisp salad, cold chicken with fresh fruits and cheeses with some decadent wine.

I love sitting against a tree, book in hand while munching away on delicious food with good company. Think of all the different foods that you can prepare for your day outdoors that can be enjoyed while sitting in silence reading or chatting away with your family or friends.

Connecting with nature during your picnic can be a fun way to really relax. You can lie under a tree and watch squirrels flit about or sit by a creek or river to take in the sounds of trickling water.

Spending outdoors with others to eat, play and reconnect will revitalize you, reminding you that sometimes, the simplest pleasures in life are the ones that mean the most.

When was the last time you enjoyed a picnic?

Sending you shining love from the sun!

Judging Others

If you judge people, you don’t have time to love them. ~Mother Teresa

Should we ask ourselves when we start to judge people upon meeting them, where it is coming from? Perhaps it is something we see inside ourselves that are lacking that we put those biases onto others? They say first impressions make all the difference but most times we don't have the full story and come to make a wrong impression of that person. Unfortunately, we tend to carry that impression on until proven wrong.

Sure, it is human nature to see others and compare ourselves to them; see if they are below or above our "standards" that we may carry in our minds. By why do we carry that? What we need to do is overcome that need to feel superior to others or judge them for their circumstances. We need to learn some tolerance and understanding because wouldn't you want that when others are meeting you for the first time? I know I am imperfect so how can I judge knowing that?

Sometimes, the person has a trait that we secretly want so we become critical of them rather than admire for it. It is a matter of just saying what you feel, to yourself, to admit that the person has something you don't; then again, if you really look at yourself, you may have something they do not have. That is what makes the world go-round; our diversities, our differences, our uniqueness. They are human as we are and they have their limits as we do, but theirs are probably different than yours so see them for who and what they are and who or what they can become.

Keep an open mind when meeting new people. You do not know the kind of life they have led to the point of meeting you and you don't understand the pains they may have encountered along the way. We carry that whether we are conscious about it or not and at times, it comes out in the worse way. If we meet people with an open heart and mind, we allow that spark to ignite and wonderful friendships to be created to carry along in our lives.

So, the next time you meet someone new, stop and think about how you are being perceived and keep your mind open so that you can see and listen to who they truly are inside.

Sending you all unlimited love and gratitude.

Bright blessing.

Living with Compassion or with Empathy

On Saturday morning, I had a meditation class and most of the people in my class are kids from a local high school. We took time out to talk about other topics besides meditation and it turned into a discussion about compassion and what it meant to each of us.

One girl says, "why live with compassion? I mean, it means feeling sorry for people that are not in a good way." That quieted the class for some time as we all thought. Now that was an interesting way to see it.

Most people are taught how to think what compassion means but do we have it right? So I picked up my phone (which is a no-no in my class) and looked it up on Dictionary.com. She had it down correctly.

Compassion = a feeling of deep sympathy and sorrow for another who is stricken by misfortune, accompanied by a strong desire to alleviate the suffering.

In a way, it is feeling sorry for those less fortunate but it follows with the feeling of trying to rectify or resolve the situation as well.

Maybe we need to feel something else, so I asked the class to stay in their seated position and to give it some thought with their eyes closed. Kind of like meditation but with thought. Let the inside speak out to you as you sit quietly and see what comes up.

What came up with me was empathy. Perhaps we needed more empathy rather than compassion. In my book, empathy was to understand how the other feels because you have been in that situation at one time in your life and to not judge the person as you would have felt terrible being judged for your situation.

As people started to open their eyes and look around, we went around the room and gave our thoughts. What each person said was interesting and some were quite intense in their feelings. Some felt that sympathy would be better to feel. Others thought rather than compassion, feel passion for mankind. I liked that one. There were a few that came up with empathy as well. So naturally, to make sure we were saying the "right thing" I looked up the words.

Sympathy =harmony of or agreement in feeling, as between persons or on the part of one person with respect to another OR the harmony of feeling naturally existing between persons of like tastes or opinion or of congenial dispositions OR the fact or power of sharing the feelings of another, esp. in sorrow or trouble; fellow feeling, compassion, or commiseration.

Passion = any powerful or compelling emotion or feeling, as love or hate.

Empathy = the intellectual identification with or vicarious experiencing of the feelings, thoughts, or attitudes of another.

So I was close to how I thought the word empathy meant and like it better than compassion, though I feel that at times, compassion is important. We started to compare the two words, compassion versus empathy and which we thought was important to live with. Sympathy and passion were not close to what we were thinking so we didn't use them.

What I liked about compassion is not the feeling sorry part but resolving to help the person or situation. Empathy could potentially go hand in hand as you know the feeling of what the other person is going through but you don't feel sorrow because you know that it can some how be "fixed" if that is the right word to use.

As the kids were talking, it came to me that this was our future in the room, speaking about humanity and how they perceived it. It was an amazing feeling to know that at least with this group of kids, there will be advocates to humankind and that they want to see the better of the world, not the destruction.

We didn't conquer anything but everyone was able to give their point of view on whether as humans we should have compassion or empathy and allow us to think more as we finished up the class. We managed to even have a 15 minute guided meditation before everyone took off but it was well worth the time to speak out about what is going on in the world and how small steps can be made to change it for the better.

If you have to live a certain way, which would you choose? Compassion or empathy? I definitely try to live each day with gratitude and love but the conversation did make a good point in which else to choose. Food for thought and I love that!

Sending out grateful and loving energy.

Namaste

Happy Mother's Day

There are all kinds of moms in the world. Some kids get along with their moms really well, some don't and some don't even care to know theirs anymore. Regardless of your situation, you are here because of her.

I have been lucky to be born with a mother who cares. She not only cares about her own kids but other as well. Our house was always the one the kids came to because she would feed all of us and we could hang out and feel comfortable. It still is that way. People ask about her, how she is doing or how much they miss her cooking, if they haven't seen her in a while. She was truly the mother of all mothers. She is my Goddess.

Sure, growing up, I had my issues with my mom as she was the one that was around all the time, even when she worked as much as she did while my dad was out to sea in the Navy. During my tween years, it got worse but nothing serious. Dad ended up being station in Japan and worked his Navy job on the base (no more out to sea duty) but also worked a party time job at night to support his family. My mom worked a full time job during the day and then would hang out with my dad at his job at night as it was at the social club.

I smoked and I drank because I was able to get away with it being taller than the average adult female in Japan. Hell, I had no problem buying anything because back then, cigarettes, beer and sa-ke was sold in vending machine. Throw it in our backpacks and off we go. As kids living on a military base that had tons of empty old barracks we could hang out in and we learned to hide our gatherings from a lot of people. Trust me, we learned to hide them good. Party time!

Most of our parents were always so busy hanging out with other parents that we could go most places that were isolated and no one would bother us for hours; not even the Shore Patrol (military cops). As long as I was home at the allotted time and my grades were good, I was left alone to be with friends. Being a straight A student from elementary to high school, that was easy.

But my mom was a tough woman and took a lot of what I dished out and gave it to me three folds. Guess I learned not to mess with the momma! As I grew up and left home, it was more apparent what she taught me, help me to get through my life thus far. We still talk almost every day and when I hang out with her for a weekend every month, we have some intense conversations about life and what she has seen or how life has changed her mind now that she is in her late 70's.

Being a mom now, I learned that it is hard work to raise your kid to be respectful, responsible and loyal, etc but also to show them how to find their individuality and blaze their own path. I brought her into this world so it was my job to makes sure when she left our home, she was a good person with good moral values.

As a married lady now, my daughter's next chapter is motherhood and I know that she will make a wonderful mom because she knows the work involved and will dedicate herself to her kids.

Whatever your circumstances, thank the woman that gave you life and be grateful for what you have today.

To all mothers who give of themselves to their kids and to others, may you have a wonderful day and may all the blessings in life be yours.

Sending gratitude and loving energy to my mother and to all mothers.

Hope you feel better, mom and got plenty of sleep to get rid of that bug! I love you!

Namaste

Now What?

You know when you are in the middle of doing a lot of projects and they all start to come to an end and you have nothing planned for the future yet… you think, now what?

That is where I am these days. School is done and I received my PhD in Psychology. My daughter is married so planning for the wedding is complete. I have finally come to terms with my father's passing and can think of him without getting emotional as I used to, though I still miss him terribly. So now I sit and ponder what else I can do.

I have a short vacation planned to Connecticut in early June so that is exciting. I always have fun when I am out there as I get to see friends, have a slice from Mystic Pizza and see the Atlantic Ocean. This trip I get to meet a favorite suspense author in Newport, RI for a book signing and wine tasting. He is an avid wine aficionado.

At the same token, there is some melancholy attached to this trip as well as some anticipation. Losing touch with someone last year who I used to visit makes it kind of sad but gaining three new ones through mutual friends definitely fills me with excitement to go out and get to know them better. We have had some great conversations as well as trade some fun and interesting info on our Facebook pages as well as in emails.

When I get back, I have a couple tickets to the US Open in Pebble Beach the same week so that will be a lot of fun. It is a bummer that Anthony Kim won’t be there due to his thumb surgery as I wanted to see if I can get one of his belt buckles! I mean, come on… we have the same initials so why not, right? LOL!  I may have to go out and get one made, just for fun!

I am reading through a novel for a friend before he hands it over to his publisher so that is an interesting process that I am learning about. I am completely hooked after 4 chapters and will take the time to read a lot of it this weekend.

I started an organization with a colleague to raise awareness for children and teens in mental and spiritual pain or anguish. I felt that we needed to pay more attention in this day and age where almost all kids are now Latch-Key kids, go home to an empty house and crave attention that they don’t get from parents or siblings who are busy with work and their lives. Technology is great but it has also split apart the family unit. The personal touch is gone so it was a way to bring that back and give out free hugs to everyone who needs it.

I have to say that anyone who is the field working with kids, especially the ones that have gone through tramatic events in their lives and are trying to cope, I know it must be hard to watch those kids get through each day but at the same token, I am sure there is a lot of pride that comes from watching them overcome those obstacles and make it through each day. I bow down to you all for your efforts as I am sure it can be emotionally hard on you. You make the world a better place, getting those kids through life with your love, support and compassion.

Oh! I almost forgot that I have a party to go to tomorrow evening for two friends that are turning 60; his birthday is today and his fiancé has her birthday in two weeks. Well heck; now that I think about it and write them down, I have a lot going on. Guess I am busier than I thought.

I hope you continue to follow my journey and would love to hear about yours. If you have a blog or you are a writer, drop a line at my email and I will follow your journey or would be honored to read your work.

Sending out exciting and fun energy to start your weekend!

Namaste

Some Days... Grrrrr!!!

There are some days when you feel like screaming, punching and and getting the heavy aggressions out. Today has been one of those days for me.

I think the emotional overwhelming feeling from Saturday still has its claws in me so I had to go to the gym and work hard after I got off my job. Sex for the rest of the afternoon was going to be my second choice but that is another story. hahaha!

I find that listening to some heavy rock or metal (below was the song) and working hard with some punching, kicking and heavy aerobics with my MP3 player rocking in my head does the trick. The sweat was pouring off me so I know I was rocking it hard.

I know it is said that yoga and meditation is something to do but I use them to center myself and get some balance, definitely was not going to get the aggression out.

My thought today was "I need to punch something" so I hit the bags and punch away! Trust me, my arms are freaking burning and my legs are on fire so I know it worked. I just hope that when I wake up tomorrow, I can move. And of all weeks, it is not my Friday off so I have to get to work. Ahhh!  LOL!

What do you do to get your aggressions out? Do you find that working out does the job? I have friends that would rather just drink it away and get into fights. Not my cup of tea or in my case, glass of wine. Others have hobbies and they put their energy into it. My hobby is writing and with the aggression, I find that I cannot concentrate so I can't write.
 

With that, sending you all calming and loving energy but ROCK OUT!

Namaste

"The light in me honors the light in you"

Happy Cinco de Mayo

Kind of funny that the U.S. makes a big deal out of Cinco de Mayo when it is Mexico's Independence Day.

I guess it is all about celebrating and having a good time.  And why not, since Mexicans in the U.S. celebrate 4th of July with us.

So where ever you are, have a great time, enjoy the company but please be safe in all that you do.

Muchas gracias, mi amigos. Enviar que adora energía a ustedes.

(Thank you, my friends. Sending loving energy to you all.)

Play Time!

Do you take time to have fun in your life and do something random and silly? Nothing crazy that you would get hurt but just something to make you laugh?

For years, I didn’t do that. I always took myself too seriously unless I was dealing with kids because I thought to be grown up and mature, I had to be dedicated to working and making my life something great. That has changed now and most times I am a goofball, as my family and friends will tell you.

Now I don’t mean getting drunk and doing or being stupid but just having a good time, acting silly when I can or when it is appropriate. Some times when things are tense, I try to break it by saying something random and everyone laughs and the tension is gone.

With all that has been happening in my life lately, I knew that without my time for fun, I would have burnt out long time ago. I was going to school getting my PhD, still trying to overcome the loss of my dad, getting over a heart break and planning my daughter’s wedding. Whew, even that sounded like a lot of stuff in my head.

I think it is important not to take yourself seriously because life is so short and there is so much you can do to enjoy the time you have. How would you like to be remembered? Would you prefer to be remembered as a stodgy, overbearing, serious person or a spontaneous, silly and fun person? I prefer the latter because people always remember the ones that make you laugh.

Another area that people don’t laugh enough is during sex. I know, random, huh? But that is how I think so get over it. hee hee!

Everyone wants it to be perfect in the sack and you know what? Most times it is not that way but if you can inject some fun and silliness, it can be wonderfully amazing. And what will you remember about it later on? You had FUN, you SMILED, you LAUGHED and it felt GOOD!

Next time you are with your honey bunny, try to inject some silliness into it. I can almost guarantee you will have a great time.  Be creative with your fun… And NO, I will not give out my silly, hot, crazy, fun ideas… get your own! Hahahaha!

Sending out loving, fun and silly energy to you all.

Namaste