Young, In Pain and No Where to Turn

PLEASANTON, CA - An Amador Valley High School freshman was struck and killed by a train Friday in an apparent suicide, police said.

That's how the newspaper headline read this morning.  What it does not say is that the train split her poor little body in half and threw about body parts far enough away for the police to close the whole area off for hours to retrieve them.  I know this because one of the officers first on the scene came into the local restaurant last night, sat with us, describing what he saw and will continue to relive over and over in his mind's eye.  He was distraught and confused why such a young woman would do that.  Was life so bad that she had to end it, he kept asking us.

Her name was Evelyn and she was a Freshman in high school; still young with so much life ahead of her but she was in tremendous pain.  Why do I know that?  Because in order to relieve herself of the pain she felt, she let it all go in one moment; she stood in front of a speeding train and let it end.  That is how I know.

I did not know her personally but an acquaintance of mine did, as her son was a friend of the young woman.  She said that Evelyn was a little off and when they had gone to D.C. last year, she wondered about her but she did say that she seemed to be a good kid, nice and got along with everyone.

There are always signs that are apparent but most we do not catch.  I wondered if anyone thought to ask her if she was ok because of how she acted.

Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do for her now but I do know that we can do something for those around us.  My advice to you is to grab your kids, spouse, loved ones and give them all a great big hug and tell them you love them.  Don't just say the words, show them that you love them.

Life gets in the way, we get sidetracked and forget to show our family and friends what they mean to us and times like this becomes a reminder to do just that.  Because one day, they won't be around for us to say the words or to give the hugs and kisses.  A quick phone call to chat for a bit or just to say you care makes a difference in anyone's life.

I know that Evelyn is in a better place now and will find her peace but those of us here on this realm will wonder what we could have done for her to allow her to live her life happily and contently.  Her time is done but maybe we can catch another child in pain and extend out a helping hand or a comforting hug.

I ask that you send prayers and thoughts to Evelyn's family and friends to allow them to heal quickly and to find their peace with what has happened.

With healing light to you all.

The Universe Works in a Quirky Way

I got a message today and it made so much sense to me that I want to share it.  It has always worked for me in the past and all my worrying was for naught but I keep forgetting the Laws of the Universe.  We get consumed with what we want RIGHT NOW and forget about the time the Universe works in.  It is NOT on our time, but I assure you, if you want something, after you send it out into the Universe, patience is definitely a virtue.

It might not make sense in that normal scheme of the world that we live in and know but here goes... sometimes, you have to move away, to get closer; you have to let go, to claim your stake; be still, to move forward; give, to receive; cry, to feel joy; pretend, to make it real; and sometimes, you have to fake it until you make it.

The most important portion of the message was that you have to decide to feel love to know it was there all along.  Call it spiritual logic or just plain confusing, but it makes sense, doesn't it?  How many times has something you thought of over and over come to you?  Rarely but then life passes, you move on to something else and forgot about it.  Suddenly, the thing you wanted is right there in your lap.

Be gentle with yourself.

You are a child of the Universe,

no less than the trees and the stars.

In the noisy confusion of life,

keep peace in your soul.

LOVE - Give It A Chance

No one falls in love by choice, it is by CHANCE.

No one stays in love by chance, it is by WORK.

And no one falls out of love by chance, it is by CHOICE.

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

I have been seeing those words a lot lately and thought how it made sense. Love is probably the most sought after emotion because of how it makes you feel inside when you have love.

Family love is easy most of the time, because you are born into that family, but true love, on the other hand, is hard work to keep it going. Most people don't get that; thus the high rate of divorce. We all grow up with the fairy tale stories and believe it will just happen.

“They lived happily ever after.” No one told you that your Mr. Perfect is a grouch in the morning, snores, hogs the blankets or worse, the whole bed so that you are at the very edge, trying to find a comfortable position to sleep in all night.  Or that he is always broke and borrowing money he will never repay. They never told you that your Miss Perfect can become a raving bitch because she is on her period or goes into a jealous rage because you glanced at a pretty girl. Or that she will gain weight and not be as thin or as pretty as she used to be.

Connecting with someone instantly is rare but it happens. There is the chemistry that attracts you to one another and you find that you have a lot of similar ideals and values that get it started.

Relationships take time to build. The quirks, personality differences, hobbies, friends, each other’s families; all of it is stirred into the pot. But with commitment to hard work, open communication, loyalty, love, trust and definitely a sense of humor will eventually build that relationship into an amazing and lasting one.

I saw it first hand with my parents who were married for just a litle over 45 years. It took 20 years to get to the amazing part but the last 25 years of their marriage until my dad’s passed, they were inseparable and you could see how much they loved one another as well as loved being in each other's company. I was too busy to see it then but I see it clearly now that he is gone and how much my mom misses him. I think that is what we are all looking for. Someone to grow old with, share dreams, do silly things with, hang out with, talk with and enjoy every day with them until it is our turn to join my dad, in the golf course in the sky.

What you get out of a relationship is just as good as what you both put into it. I have been divorced for over 20 years and in hind sight, I know that I didn’t work on my relationship as I should have but I was young and my expectation was that it was supposed to be easy. Where the hell did it go? Who was this guy in front of me and what gives him the right to yell at me? So you quit and go looking for the next Prince Charming and keep looking until you finally get it. There is no Prince Charming or Cinderella. We are human with emotions, faults and insecurities. We think love is easy but it is not. It is hard work but in the long run, it is so worth it.

Going back to the words above… When people choose not to work at a relationship, it is a choice they make and ultimately, the relationship does falls apart, regardless if the other partner still loves them. I know that very well, as I speak from experience. You can love someone with all your heart but if they decide they don't love you anymore, nothing can change that. My advice? Don't even try to make them change their mind. Just let them go. It's easier on the heart, in the long run and someone else is out there waiting for you to look their way and give them a chance. And why not; what do you have to lose? Nothing! In turn, you have more love to gain from it, right?

One of the hardest things in life is having words in your heart that you can't utter. ~ James Earl Jones

Instead of keeping those words inside your heart, tell that someone how you feel because you may never get another chance. I did say to him, I love you and even though he did not love me, I was able to give him something no one else can. A part of me. I told him how I felt and I have no regrets telling him I loved him. It just means the next time love comes into my life, it will be even more amazing than the last time. Take a chance on love and it might surprise you. As I near 50 (next year!), I know now that all experiences are lessons. My lesson was to know that I could love someone unconditionally.

I mean, isn’t that what life is all about in the end? How much did you love? How much love did you give? How much love did you get?

Since I don’t want to leave you on a down note, I leave you with these words…

Love is just a word until someone comes along and gives it meaning.

I hope that each and every one of you, find that someone special as I know one day, that someone will find me.

Happy Valentine's Day.  I wish you all love.

Good words

Oprah said something interesting on a recent show that had me thinking and I thought it is good advice.  "This is how I see the Universe working.  First, we get a whisper.  Second, a small smack on the head. Third, a brick hits us... then we run into the brickwall."

How many times has that happen to you?  Something starts to nag at you but you ignore it.  It starts as a whisper or a buzz and you get the feeling it is important but life gets in the way, so you ignore it.  Then the buzz gets louder but ignoring it again so something happens along the way that smacks you in the head.  You still don't get it so something harder is sent to you and again, smacks you in the head.  Finally, running out of alternatives, we are sent to the wall and wonder to ourselves why that happened.  Had we listened to that whisper in the first place, we might have not be at that point in our lives where we hit that brickwall.

It is imperative that we take time and really listen to what is going on inside; not just in your mind but with your body as well as your spirit.  It all goes hand in hand and extends your life when you are in health with mind, body and spirit.  Hear the whisper and do something now before you hit that proverbial wall.

Message from the Lost Generation

Someone had passed the video to me and I found it to be one of the best message I have read or heard in a very long time and thought it was a good one to pass on.  I feel good about the next generation that is coming in to lead this world.

Check out the video below called the Lost Generation.

Here is the message written out if you want to follow along.


I am part of a Lost Generation
And I refuse to believe that
I can change the world
I realize this may be a shock but
“Happiness comes from within”
Is a lie, and
“Money will make me happy”
So in 30 years I will tell my children
They are not the most important thing in my life
My employer will know that
I have my priorities straight because
Work
Is more important than
Family
I tell you this
Once upon a time
Families stayed together
But this will not be true in my era
This is a quick fix society
Experts tell me
30 years from now I will be celebrating the 10th anniversary of my divorce
I do not concede that
I will live in a country of my own making
In the future
Environmental destruction will be the norm
No longer can it be said that
My peers and I care about this earth
It will be evident that
My generation is apathetic and lethargic
It is foolish to presume that
There is hope.

And all of this will come true unless we choose to reverse it.
{Now, read it from above this line to the top.}

Setsubun - February 3rd

Setsubun (seh-zu-boon), which actually means seasonal divider, is the day before the beginning of each season in Japan but the Spring Setsubun, called Rishun (lee-shoon) is celebrated each year on February 3rd as part of Haru Matsuri (ha-loo mah-zu-lee) or Spring Festival.

In its association with the Lunar New Year, Spring Setsubun was previously thought of as sort of New Year's Eve and is accompanied by a special cleansing ritual to drive away all the negative of the former year and drive away disease-bringing evil spirits for the year to come.  The ritual is called mamemaki (mah-meh-mah-kee) or bean throwing.

Mamemaki is usually performed by the toshiotoko (toe-she-oh-toe-koe) of the household; the male who was born on the corresponding animal year of the Chinese zodiac or the male head of the household.  Roasted soybeans (called fukumame (foo-koo mah-meh) are either thrown out the front door or at a member of the family wearing an Oni (oh-nee) or demon mask, while the throwers chant "Oni wa soto! Fuku wa uchi!" (oh-nee-wah-sew-toe foo-koo-wah-oo-chee). The words roughly translate to "Demons out! Luck in!" The beans are thought to symbolically purify the home by driving away the evil spirits that bring misfortune and bad health.  As part of bringing luck in, it is customary to eat roasted soybeans, one for each year of one's life, and in some areas, one for each year of one's life plus one more for bringing additional good luck for the year to come.

May this year bring forth good health, good fortune, happiness, laughter and love.

Groundhog Day 2010

Every year, Punxsutawney, PA and the world waits to find out if Punxsutawney Phil, the groundhog, will see his shadow. If he dashes back from seeing his shadow, we're stuck with six more weeks of winter. If he sticks around above ground, then spring is around the corner.

The tradition dates back to the 18th century when winter was long and bleak.  German folklore originally had the badger or hedgehog as the seasonal predictor, but in Pennsylvania, the groundhog became the harbinger of spring.

Phil is one star who never misses his yearly performance and has an impressive record as "Groundhog of the Year" since 1887.

So, what happened this morning?

Sorry, folks, don't put the heavy coats, gloves or scarves... you'll need them for six more weeks as Phil saw his shadow this morning.

He's gone back into hiding.  See ya next year, Phil!

He Makes a Difference

The street I live on has a parcourse on it, so each morning I see different people walk, jog, or run in front of my apartment as I head to my car to go to work.

One particular man impresses me as I see him every morning, rain or shine.  He is probably in his mid-70's, has a good stride and walks with a smile every day.  One thing I always notice is that he carries a plastic bag.  My first thought when I first saw him a couple years ago was that he is walking his dog but no dog and the bag is always half full when I see him.  Perhaps he stopped and got some groceries.

Today, in my rush to get to work as I was late, I was half aware that he was walking by.  I get into my car, turn on my radio and pull out.  He walks in front of me as I get to the crosswalk of the driveway and I see the bag, then look up at him.  He's smiling and waves at me.  I wave back and smile, waiting for him to pass.  He stops just on the other side and starts to lean down so I don't move, ready to jump out, in case he was not well.

To my amazement, the man starts to pick up the trash that is scattered all around the lawn.  The trash that others who walk on that parcourse carelessly throw down.

It took the breath out of me as I watch him lean down, pick up a used bad of potato chips and place it in his bag.  He slowly picks each piece of trash up and moves forward as he sees another.  He does this as he looks around, smiling.

I couldn't move.  I couldn't put my car into gear and drive off.  I couldn't see past the tears that were blurring my eyes.

This man takes a walk for his health but he also takes his time every morning to clean the area he walks by.  His little bit made a difference of how I see the place I live at and how I will always see it.  It wasn't the city cleaners who were doing their jobs.  It was him.  Every morning.

When I realize I have been sitting there with my car on idle for a couple minutes, I wipe my eyes, look out and see that he finished picking up the trash and is crossing the street, waving at the gas station attendant, Ray, who waves back.

Today when I get home and look out my window and see the lawn; I will know that it was cleaned by him and enjoy my view thoroughly.  Tomorrow when I see him, I will stop to thank him and introduce myself.