Are You Aware and Awake?

When you do something, anything, is it with intention? Are you aware and awake to what you do every day or are you just trudging through life? I found that for years, I was just existing in my life and it was passing me by.

If we learn to do things with intention, it has the power to make mundane into profound. Intention requires attention to detail and needs our effort to become something tremendous.

We know that to do something complicated or profoundly meaningful requires our full attention and effort in order to succeed. For example, walking a tightrope or taking a test are tasks that call us to be fully present and in the moment. But it can also be use with day to day events, like eating breakfast or going to work. In fact, everything we do benefits from the presence of intent, which has the power to transform boring tasks into profound experiences. You have to try it to find out, though.

Intent is one of the cornerstones of the Zen tradition of Buddhism in which monks work for years to develop the stillness and peace of mind to do only one thing at a time. Most of the time we are doing one thing and thinking of something else, or even doing three things at the same time, such as talking on the phone, doing dishes, and making coffee. There is nothing wrong with multitasking, which is necessary at times, especially in family or corporate life. However, balancing this with a dose of intention can provide valuable insight into the benefits of doing one thing at a time, being fully present with whatever the task at hand happens to be.

It is funny how multitasking is looked upon as a positive but in reality, it means you are only fair at what you do, not great because you get busy doing 10% here, 10% there and nothing is at 100%, if you stop to think about it.

Let me use an analogy with musicians. A good musician plays their guitar a couple or few times a week but a great musician is playing for hours every day, non-stop without interruption. That is how you go from good to great. You do it often and with one intent. To practice the guitar. Not thinking of your next golf game on Saturday or chatting on the phone as you strum away but closing the door, turning your phone off, putting the guitar in your hands and just play.

As a writer, I started to branch out and was trying many activities and the writing ended up taking a back seat. I had stopped writing with intent. I have put a lot of things away and concentrate on my writing more than anything else now. I find that as I write more, the more flows out of me and I get my message across better.

From the moment we wake up, we can apply intent to any situation by simply saying to ourselves, “I am aware and I am awake.” We can use this simple verse throughout our day, with whatever we are doing. As we acknowledge what we are doing in each moment, we come alive to our bodies, to our surroundings and to the world, owning our actions instead of performing them unconsciously or out of habit.

We may realize how often we act without intention and how this disengages us from reality. Applying the energy of intent to even one task a day has the power to transform our lives. Just imagine what would happen if we were able to apply that power to our entire day.

I am, as always, humbled by your light.

Potentialality of Love

You make plans. Detailed plans, step by step. Ready to execute. Then wham, it all crumbles around you. You fall for someone. The potentiality of love can push the best laid plans aside with a tiny flick of a finger.

It doesn't mean that the person returns your feelings but just that potential, that feeling you get when you think you might be in love, changes the course of your life and you don't look back until it is over or if it continues, you see how it affected you.

I watch my friend every day, her phone never more than a couple inches from her fingers, texting a different guy every other day or week, because that potentiality of love pushes her to keep doing it even when it doesn't work out. Trust me, she has been getting to know over 300 guys in the last three years yet not end up with one. She meets each one and the usual route has been they don't call, email or text her after the initial meeting so she moves on to the next. I get tired for Mary.

I use to think it was sad but I have come to realize that some people just need that in their lives because they don't know how to give it to themselves or they don't know how to be alone and enjoy it.

It is not a bad thing, in fact, it is lots of fun to do that whole online dating. I know. I got to know a few guys, who are still friends, that way. I am a hard nut to crack and very cynical about love, though I believe in it deeply. I just don't fall in love. I get to where I like them, respect them or care about them but it is rare that I fall for them. I never took any of them seriously until one fateful Saturday morning.

I thought, "yeah, another one smooth talker" but his words were different. As we got to know each other, he understood me more than anyone had ever in my life and we got on for almost 3 years. But in the end, it was not meant to be.

Everyone wants love. Yes, I do, too. Funny how it is always just that potential of love, not actual love, that can sidetrack a person off-course, lead them astray or make them do things they would never do before.

So with that, I wish you love. I wish you the anticipation of it coming. I wish you the excitement of meeting that one person who will share it with you. I wish you the sensation of feeling it. And I hope that when you have it, you treat it with reverence and kindness; keep it simple and honest and don't ever take it or the person for granted. And most of all, do not put any expectations or stipulations on love... if you do, it is not love.

Love and light to you all.

Lighten Things Up

Love this song and the little girl who sings it is so adorable that I made it my ringtone.  The things kids can do are so amazing.  Enjoy!

The Cuppy Cake Song

Broken

This is a topic that can be talked to in many ways. Someone posted a quote on his Facebook page that struck me and struck me hard.

"The world breaks everyone and afterward, many are strong in the broken places." E.H.

We are, aren't we?  We break, go into ourselves with whatever feelings; be it, depression, sadness or anger, then we come out of it different but strong in that place that was broken.

Do you ever wonder why we tend to be able to deal with more and more as it gets thrown at us?  I think it is because that strength pulls us out of ourselves and gives us the resources to handle it better the next time around, again and again.

I have a few friends that are alcoholics but as they "woke up" for a lack of better phrase, they woke up stronger and able to handle life in a way they thought they could not. I admire their courage to give up a crutch that others continue to use until it is too late and they die from their addiction.  My dad's family is a good example of that. Most of his siblings died of some sort of dependence on alcohol, cigarettes or drugs.

Do you see yourself as broken? What needs to be "fixed"? Do you think about that as you go through your daily life?

I tend to do that now and with all that life has thrown at me and continues to throw at me, I find the bliss in the small things because worrying about the big things, well, it ain't gonna change it.

There is also another side to consider. The problem is that we tend to forget to let it all go and even though we may be stronger, we hold on to those feelings we went into ourselves with. The important thing to remember is that when we do that, we give our power to that experience rather than take the power out of the experience and apply it to our life.

Learn to heal, take the power and use it to your advantage as you go through life.

I am humbled by your light.

My Daddy

This Friday marks the 5th year of my father's passing. I still find it hard to believe that he is gone. Sometimes, I absently call the house and my mom answers and I realize he is not there. Can't tell her why I called because she misses him, too.

I think of all the things I miss but once I start counting, I lose track. I just miss my daddy. I think like all girls who are close to their dad, we are always the little girl but in my case, I was a tomboy so he kind of had a son, too. Hell, I was into sports more than he was and he thought that was great because I could tell him stuff!

He loved his TV. He loved his golf. He loved to bowl and play poker. He loved meat and potatoes but loved sushi. He was a homebody but from time to time, he liked going out and being social with family or freinds. He loved his family and did all he could to provide for us.

Mind you, my dad didn't have it easy growing up. He was the youngest of 7 kids; 4 girls and 3 boys. My grandfather worked at the big steel mill in Pittsburgh, PA but he was a lost soul. His life consisted of working and drinking and on a good day, the boys didn't get beat up as much. But on a bad day, you better get ready for a whooping. No reason, just because.

My dad knew he wanted out of that life and soon. The day he turned 18, he was gone. He had enlisted into the Navy and was shipped to boot camp. Life changed for him and for the better. His first tour of duty after camp was in Guam... paradise! Then he headed to Japan, where he met my mom. He fell head over heels in love and that was it for him. He found the one woman he always knew he would and he would live the rest of his life loving and he did, let me tell you. If any one woman can say her husband worshipped her, my mom can.

Life wasn't always easy but he made sure that my mom and us girls never went without. He did spoil us and in hind sight, we were lucky to have such a wonderful man as a father and friend.

I wasn't always close to my dad but the last 15 years with his cancer, arthritis and heart problem, being divorced with a daughter who was in her teens, I was able to help my parents out. My mom was his caregiver during those times of illness but I knew she needed a break so I would go over, have her relax with him and watch TV while I cooked and cleaned.

I remember phone calls where he and I would be watching poker on TV and he would count cards. He loved that game and we would be on the phone for hours talking.

He was a smart guy and had a great memory. He taught me a lot but I didn't always follow his advice. My dad was as straight as they come. Jesus and he were probably split as brothers in another era in life, my dad was so honest and unmovable about it. He was so honest that at times, it cost him raises at work because he wouldn't do things "under the table" or whatever his boss at that time wanted him to so to get back at him, they wouldn't give him a raise or a bonus. He was in the military so he had to make do. He didn't care. How he saw himself was more important and if he needed more money, he would just get a second or a third job, which he did a lot of times until he discovered the stock market. Then he was golden because he had a knack for it. Trust me... my mom is doing well for herself because he left more than enough to live on. Got to respect that.

So in his honor and in his memory, as he used to say and yes, I will translate... Anata no gofuki o inotte, kampai! (ah na ta no go foo key o ee no teh kam pa ee)  To your health, wealth and happiness, cheers!

I miss and love you very much, daddy.

Last picture taken of dad...
with mom on their 45th anniversary;
one month and one day before he died.