That A-Ha moment!

Being a parent is hard work but to me, it is worth every moment of every day.

The one thing I loved about being a mom when my daughter was growing up, were all those moments that I taught her something and got to see that light bulb go on and knew she got it.

One distinct memory I have of my daughter learning something big was the difference between the sun and moon. She was a year and a half and already talking full, complete sentences, potty trained and off the bottle. She knew what she wanted and went for it. The funny thing is that she still does at almost 29.

We had to leave Connecticut as my husband, at the time, got a job back in California. We decided to drive back cross country, which was in itself an amazing trip, and we did it in about 11 days.

We originally were going to drive through the nights so I had day shift and he had night shift but eventually we realized that we were missing out on showing our daughter places we were passing, so we stopped each night after the third night so that we had time to visit places for a short time.

Around 4am in the morning, on our fifth day, we got on the road. It was October and a little chilly but we had our coffees and my daughter had her warm milk in a big tippy cup, as she called it.

She and I were already very close then so it was usual for us to start talking once we got into the car. She was doing her usual, "what's that, momma?" as she pointed to different things we passed after we settled in for the drive of the day. I answered as I looked and if she asked for more info, I gave it to her.

Suddenly, she beamed as she looked to my right and said, "Oh, momma... SUN!" It was getting light out so I looked over and noted that it was the moon she was looking at, so I said, "no, baby doll, that is the moon."

She looked confused because it was getting light out (about 6:30am) and I was not doing our usual game of acknowledging the sun when it was day and the moon when it was night. So she repeated, "sun." I again said, "no, that is the moon." I realized that she only knew them in the context of what I had taught her but she never knew that they were separate planets.

We would go outside in the morning and have our breakfast in the backyard under our tree with the sun overhead or eat dinner under the moon with candles and with the lights in our tree. (We kept the tree covered in white lights year-round as she loved them.)

I noticed that outside the window on her dad's side as he drove, the sun was rising so I pointed it out to her and said, "that is the sun." Immediately, she turned her head towards the sun and her eyes grew wide. She looked over to my side and saw the moon. So she asked very hesitantly while pointing back to the sun... "Sun?"

I answered her, "yes, that is the sun," then pointed to the moon on my side and said, "that is the moon."

She was quiet for a few minutes, kept looking back and forth between the sun and the moon, then I saw that light come on in her eyes.

She suddenly got that there are TWO of them and they had their own names. The sun was out during the day and the moon was out during the night.

Excitedly, she pointed to each and repeated their names several times to be sure she had them right and I acknowledged her each time. She then asked why there was two. I had to make up a story that the sun worked hard all day to keep us bright that it had to go night night so the moon took over but it was not as bright as the sun so we had some dark to go with it.

She looked over to the moon and said, "night night, moon," and fell asleep, content.

As I said, I love being a mom and moments like that made it all worthwhile. I cannot wait to be a grandma and in my daughter and son-in-law's words... it will be soon. Yay for me!

Your Disguise

I fell in love with this song and wanted to share. The lyrics, the music and his voice is just a perfect blend to this song.

It is poignant and shows you softly, the truth about how we all hide behind a disguise to mask our pain.

Below are the lyrics.

Your Disguise

by James Greenspun

Alone in your mind

Waiting for the sun to shine

Alone in your mind

Waiting for the sign that it's time

To break free from the words that hold you down

To escape from the feeling that you are lost and can't be found

Don't hide your face

You cannot erase

The pain that stays in your eyes

Lay down your guard

Show them who you are

Behind your disguise

You run far from home

Think you'll make it on your own

You run fast and slow

But never seem to know where you'll go

To break free from the words that hold you down

To escape from the feeling that you are lost and can't be found

Lost and can't be found

Don't hide your face

You cannot erase

The pain that stays in your eyes

Lay down your guard

Show them who you are

Behind your disguise

Your disguise

Don't hide your face

You cannot erase

The pain that stays in your eyes

Lay down your guard

Show them who you are

Behind your disguise

Behind your disguise

Your disguise

Lesson in Life

Years come and go, as do people. What we get from them are just as important as what we gave. Don't ponder on those. You gave and that is the important part.

Remember the ones that gave unconditionally and are still by your side, as true friends always are. There will always be times when you will hurt a friend but a true friend will be able to face you and talk things through.

"It is a man's own mind, not his enemy or foe, that lures him to evil ways.' ~Buddha

We need to strive to be the kind of people that we can trust, honor and be loyal to as friends and as humans.

There will always be times when we make mistakes and some times they are big ones. As my friend, Stephen, likes to say, "put your big girl panties on and face the consequences. Apologize if you have hurt someone. Don't wait, do it now." It is true. The more time you wait, the harder it is because you have allowed a chasm to grow and it will take a long damn bridge to cross it when you finally get the guts to apologize. Plus it shows your lack of class when you don't and the biggie... your Karma is at risk of carrying that burden for the rest of your life and then some. "What you do to someone, is returned to you, threefolds." Ouch. Been there, done that.

As we head into the new year and new decade, I hope that you take some time to reflect on life. On the people in it now, the ones you left behind or let go. Before time continues to pass you by, take time and try to make amends to those you have hurt, not for their sake but for your own sake and Karma.

I will tell you this... it is a hard thing to do but once you do, you feel better about the situation and more importantly, about yourself. You gain your own respect for being the person you can be and at the same time, you could perhaps regain the respect of those you hurt. I have so I know and yes, I feel better about myself after I did.

Raise your cup to life, to mistakes and to mending those mistakes. Bright blessings.

Taking Time to Relax

What is your favorite way to relax? In this day and age, what can one do to fully relax?

I took this question to family, friends and even people I met in my classes and at coffee shops... it is something fun to talk about while waiting in line to grab a hot brew.

Here are the top 10 responses I got and I agree with some but didn't agree with others. These are in random order but yes, the last one got the most responses.

Golf
Basketball
Four-wheel driving
Fishing
Hiking
Racing
Yoga
Meditation
Long, warm baths
Sex

I tried golf... ummm... NO! Not relaxing in the least bit but kudos to those of you that find it relaxing. Chasing after balls while holding a long rod is not my kind of fun... ok, ok... not in public, that is.  heh heh heh

Basketball... I played B-ball in high school with a bunch of guys for our intra-mural sports. It does get the blood flowing and you get all sweaty. That can be fun but definitely not relaxing.

Four-wheeling? WTF? Bouncing around in a truck and getting thrown around is not relaxing. Period. Fun? YES? Relaxing? NO!

Fishing was something my mom used to do in Japan to relax. I liked to hang out with her while she did but it was more relaxing to sit on a rock and watch the ocean waves roll in, while I talked to her.

Hiking can have its moments but when you get to the hills and need your staff to get over a rock or hold yourself on a heavy incline, it loses its relaxing momentum.

Racing. I had to agree with this one. We go to Laguna Seca outside of Monterey and fly around the track in our cars. The speed, the concentration and the adrenaline does make it relaxing to me. And it is freaking fun, as well. Yes, I would love to do that often but I live too far and with gas prices, it is now a luxury.

Yoga and meditation are definitely my relaxing tools along with long, warm baths with scented candles, soft music and a good book... or partner; which can lead to the last on my top 10 answers... sex. Ok, so while you are going at it, it can be more exercise than relaxation but once you get to that place and after you have your woo-wee moment; talk about relaxing! LOL!

So, how do you relax?

New Year is Coming!

"Every man has a place... in his heart there's a space... and the world can't erase his fantasies."

Do you have a dream? Are you making it happen? Or are you just sitting around, thinking about it?

Do you really think it is going to happen while you just sit and think about it? You need to put action to your words. It is time, my friends. Time to get off the duff and kick start your dream into reality. Time to take what you have been thinking and making it tangible.  Make it real.

As the new year is almost upon us, I wish you many dreams and goals. I wish you thought with action. I wish you courage to take your life into your hands and get on that path of fulfillment and accomplishment. More than anything, I wish you all much love.

"You will find, other kind, that has been in search of you."

In Memory - 30 Years Later

John Lennon October 9, 1940 - December 8, 1980

"Give peace a chance"

I remember the moment I learned that John Lennon was shot and killed.

I was in college. I had just gotten out of class that evening and was standing in the parking lot talking to a classmate about holiday plans. I was 19, I had two more classes before the end of the semester and in two weeks I would be moving to Connecticut to be with my fiance.

Another classmate yelled out from his car when he had turned on the radio. His exact words were, "oh my God, some fucking asshole killed John Lennon in front of his home in New York City."

We all ran over to his car and huddle around, listening to the radio DJ tell us how it happened. Imagine started and when John's voice came on, it was that moment we knew and people started to cry. A great musician had died and a legend was born.

I wasn't a huge Beatles fan but I like their music. When John Lennon went on his own, that is when I became a fan of his. First and foremost, his wife looked like my mom back then but they still do, actually. The women are both Japanese and grew up in the same area. To me, his music was spiritual, telling stories of life lived wrong, right, up, down and all around. I like that. Sure, there are songs that I thought were just ok but then there were songs that I absolutely love. I think it is that way with all musicians I listen to.

You always thought the great ones would live but history always tells us the opposite. So, we lost another great musician before his time.

I always liked this song but the way this video was made, it added something and the end, what he says, it hits ya.

Rest in peace, John Lennon and thank you for all the wonderful music. We have missed more of the music you could have given us for the past 30 years but the gifts you gave us lives on.

The Matrix… Real or Not

Do you ever think about your life? How it is? Where it is going? How and when it will end? How the choices you made in the past that got you where you are today? How sometimes it feels like it is out of your control and “someone” else is manipulating it? What if it was that way? Would it make you feel better to know that someone or something else made those mistakes on your life?

The Matrix series is a huge favorite because of its foundation is based on two things that I love; spirituality and technology. It delves into our fears of many things and levels and on being completely reliant to AI… artificial intelligence.

I remember when that movie came out. I was blown away. The names used were from mythology; the story line is based on our fears of nuclear holocaust yet it was not against another country but humanity versus technology that “ended” the world as we know in the movie.

After we watched the movie, my daughter and I went to a local coffee shop and talked about it for a couple hours. How much of our lives are intertwined with technology? How we take it all for granted. It seems our whole lives are meshed together and sometimes, it becomes like an extension of us.

I was sick recently with a cold so to keep myself in bed and resting, I decided to watch the whole series in a row since I have the movies and I had never done that. It was pretty intense to have your mind in that mode for over 6 ½ hours. I wrote a poem about it recently but it nags at me. The “what ifs?” The big one being, what if it is that way?

It made me think how reliant I am on technology. I can set my coffee maker to brew me a pot of coffee at a specific time every morning. When I walk into my kitchen, all I have to do is grab a cup and pour. I can set my crock pot to cook all day while I am at work so when I get home, all I have to do is grab a plate and scoop out a serving and eat.

I use my iPhone for everything from making my shopping list, banking (my bank app), playing games, reading emails and keeping in touch with my family and friends via text messages, phone calls or even the Facebook app. I get my daily Zen quote on my iPhone through an app. I am even writing this blog through an app and posting. The ways you can use that one device is astounding but we don’t think of it that way. It just is. It makes life convenient and simple. We can’t remember the day it took over our lives but now we realize we cannot live without it. It being technology.

It’s in our cars, works, schools, stores and in our homes. There is nothing we use that cannot be plugged into an electrical outlet because first and foremost, technology is reliant on electricity.

The downside to technology? Cutting of jobs because if a robot can do it, then why have people in the jobs? They are making cars we drive, they can make and bake the cookies in bulk, they can even do some simple surgeries to save our lives.

So now that it is in front of you, how reliant are you on technology and do you see that movie becoming reality, some day down the road?

It does make you think, does it not?