Knitting Away with Music

Working on my knitting while I listened to Damien Rice's album "9". Love this song... exactly how I have been feeling these past few weeks. Couldn't have sang it better... LOL!

This project is complete... on to the next on the list. Business is picking up!

My muse for this piece was AD from CC as he had on a similar cap without the pink, of course. Had to make a scarf to go with it and my client is a happy and warm camper.

This red with hot pink fur yarn is a long and wide scarf or wrap. Just made it as the combo reminded me of someone's hair and it created an interesting combination.

Next project is a cream wrap with sleeves that I designed. We shall see how that comes out.

Ciao, i miei amici!

Days of Pain

Do you ever get up one morning and realized that there are people in your life that have gone; either by death, they walked away from you or you kicked them out and and at the very moment, you feel that pain of loss?

With death, I know it is hard to put aside the pain. As each day passes, it gets easier but it doesn't go away. I know that because I lost my dad who was still young and the questions come but no answers to console.

For those who walked away, do you ever wonder why? What was it that made them go and cause you pain?

For those who were kicked out, perhaps at that time, you had a good reason but you look back and realize you let a good person go from your life and there might not be a way to ask them back.

We tend to keep grudges because we feel that someone did something to hurt us but think about it seriously and wonder if you also had something to do with it, as well. Maybe they acted that way because you did something to them without knowing but you gave up before asking and let them go. We are so good at getting angry first without thinking things through then in hind sight, we have regrets that we will take with us for the rest of our lives.

But as much as we don't want to feel pain, it is something that teaches us the ways in life. Sure, our first instinct is to push it away and ignore it, hoping it will go away but when we do that, it tends to cause depression because we haven't fully faced it like we should.

Think about it this way... without pain, how do we know pleasure and happiness?

Sometimes, as hard as it is, we need to forgive ourselves for causing pain and forgive those who caused us pain. Without doing that, you tend to become negative and it reflects in your day to day life with everyone you meet.

It is as easy as sitting down in a quiet room, maybe lighting a candle in honor of the person or people you miss or are angry with and thinking about the good in them rather than the bad so that you can give them love and let them go.

Don't hold on to the negative but only the positive. By doing this, it helps you to see the people that way. You don't know the battles they are fighting inside so it is better to forgive easily then to hold a grudge forever.

No pain, no happiness. Know pain, know happiness.

Inspiration

What inspires you?

Do you ever stop to think about that? What got you to the point in your life today? What gifts or tools were given to you to see you through the tough times, the good times or the sad times?

Sometimes, we forget what inspires us and go astray. It helps if we stop for a moment and remember them, rediscovering those inspirations that put the passion in our lives in the first place.

Sure, it may have changed a little but remembering them can re-spark them and get you back on track.

As we have become the people we are today and look at all the things that we created so far, we do need to look back and remember how we got here and send our gratitude out into the Universe. It doesn't mean we need to dwell on the past but see where it was and where you are today to show how much you have grown.

What counts is the little things we do every day to embrace the passion. Writing in your journal. Practice your singing. Writing a poem or song. Playing your instrument. Eating healthy, doing yoga or even going to the gym to be the healthiest you can be. Do whatever it is that brings the passion in our lives and do it every day.

A lot of people use meditation or visualization to manifest what they want or to make their intentions clear for the Universe to hear.

The most important thing to remember is that whatever it is you do, it must have your energy and your engagement/commitment in them in order to move forward. As obvious as this sounds, life some times gets in the way and we tend to forget ourselves to help others. It is important to put yourself first so that you can be strong and healthy enough to help others.

We are all unique and none of us have the exact same inspiration, intensity or passion. So, give that first question a moment and see what you come up with.

What inspires you?

Can You Spell?

It cracked me up when I saw this on Adam's blog but it's true. People do not know the English language and they butcher words in ignorance. Makes me wonder how they graduated from high school or worse, college? As it annoys him so much, he posted this cartoon because it gets straight to the issue. If you are going to speak, read and write, use the correct spelling; especially those of you calling yourselves writers.

From RUMI

I have come to drag you
Out of yourself
And take you in my heart
I have come to bring out the beauty
You never knew you had
And lift you like a prayer to the sky

Excerpt From A Chapter

I have been asked more than a few times to give an idea of how the book is going so I thought I would put out a teaser... and I mean that literally. LOL! Reading this will not give you an idea what the book is about but it is an inkling what you will find in the book beside the base of the story.

As some of you know, I write erotica so I have incorporated a bit of it, though the story is more along the lines of a suspense.

No title yet as it is still being worked out how it will end, etc but this part is done, for now. I will have to warn that this is R-rated but in the book, maybe closer to an X-rating.

Guilt Free Fun

As a society, we have been taught from a young age that we need to take life seriously and fun was for the idle. Let me tell you this... I never suscribed to that and my parents would be the first to back that up.

When I was a kid, I loved having fun and I would find creative ways to do so.

Dad: "Ann, don't climb that 10 foot fence."

Two hours later...

Me: "Daddy! Daddy!  Debbie is stuck up on the fence!"

Dad: "Why is your sister stuck up there?"

Me: "She followed me cuz I said it would be fun. And it was. But she got scared. Go get her, daddy. Please!"

Dad: as he shook his head and climbed to get my sister.

Yeah, I got into trouble a lot, in the name of fun. And no matter what my parents said about being the oldest and being the role model, I was all about fun. What I didn't know was it helped me to be a good mother. I knew the value of fun as a child and for children to have a childhood.

There are too many parents that do things to make their kids grow up fast. They do things their kids see and it awakens their grown up side so they never have a childhood. When they are older, they come to resent that parent or parents.

In Italy, even grown up have fun without guilt. They even have a saying, "dulce far niente," which means the sweetness of doing nothing. Just being there. I love that concept and have incorporated it into my teachings.

We need to get away from feeling guilty when we have fun. It is something that helps us with our stresses in our every day life and it keeps us young. Yes, repeat after me... it keeps us young!

Lot of people talk about doing something fun in a offhand manner as if fun is not important. We need to stop doing that. Fun is important!

Sure, there is value in working hard and being serious but we forget to be silly and enjoy the little moments in our lives that can make us laugh.

Have you ever watched a comedy and at the end, you feel good? Really good? It's because you laughed and had fun.

How is this for an experiment? Before you go out, watch something funny. It changes how you seem from the outside because the glow of fun is reflected on your face from the inside. You seem more approachable. And smiling is contagious! It sets off a chain reaction of smiles.

They say laughter is good medicine and you have to believe it. Don't you seem to be closer to the friends who make you laugh and are positive in their outlook than the serious and stressed out friends?

Sure, there are times when we need to be serious but we need to find that balance of seriousness and fun.

Here's a story that happened at work a few years ago when things were coming to head. I was a project manager opening stores for the company I worked for, at that time.

We got talking about a particular store project I was heading in Georgia. There were roadblocks everywhere we turned and we could not get anyone in Savannah to sign off on the building after we retrofitted it.

Everyone was serious and tempers were about to flare. The architect I was sitting next to started to sing "If I Were a Rich Man" from the Fiddler on the Roof musical, softly... in a chipmunk voice. The room got very quiet... then it erupted with laughter.

Once the laughter died down, our VP stood up, walked over and shook his hand, thanking him for keeping things light. It reminded him that it was just work; we were just selling clothes, not saving lives.

From that moment, that song was our theme while we worked on the project in Savannah. I am sure we looked and sounded like a bunch of lunatics but as hard as the project was, we all had a great time. It was the best business trip I took and the two weeks in Savannah was great. Any time things got out of hand, one of us would start to sing that song and viola, laughter soothed the moment and we finished the project on time when we were at one point a month behind.

So next time you are told to be serious, think about where you are and wonder if you really have to, at that moment. Fun is good for you. Let's play!

Going Through A Phase

Sometimes, while we are going through something in our lives, we can become off balance. What we need to know is that it is only a phase and it will pass eventually.

Whatever it is we go through, it is always a process; when we are learning something new or trying to break an old habit that is not good for us.

While we fine tune the process, it is natural to find that we are out of balance and this can upset the people around us as well as ourselves as we evolve.

Depending on what it is you are doing or changing, we tend to go overboard with it so that we can make it become ingrained in us. If we are the type to do so much for everyone and decide to learn to say "no," we might find that we say "no" to everyone and everything because it made us feel good to say it for the first time. Eventually we find the middle ground and can determine when we can say yes or no to something.

As Buddha says... everything in moderation including moderation.

Soon, the balance in our life returns and people see that the change we made was for the good. We need to realize that during the process, we have to be patient and understanding with ourselves and remember that while you are making changes, we need to be kind and compassionate to others and more importantly, to ourselves.

Today

Today is a very special day! It's filled with happiness, laughter and all things wonderful. It's another day to love and live. You don't need a holiday to do that. Every day is to be celebrated because we never know when it is our last. ~AMK

Valentine's Day

Because of my move and having a chance to purge, I am going through my stuff every day to purge and pack. It has been an interesting process to go through and see the things I kept, for whatever reason.

One box is special as it has a lot of my daughter's school years papers and artwork which I know I will keep. Other boxes had various goodies and memories that I opened and started to go through. I found one that contained old Valentine's cards from guys that I dated or wanted to date from years ago as well as old pictures that were over 10 years old. Made me realize that I didn't always give some of the guys I knew a chance when they asked me out.

Going through them brought back some good memories that made me smile. Some of the stuff I had are only a couple years old and the pictures gave way to nostalgic smiles as well as some sad tears. Still hard to throw them away but I know I should to rid of the memories especially as I am moving to where some of them happened. Ah, the memories on Sullivan "Street"...

Being a single gal on Valentine's Day, I decided not to look through any boxes today but to enjoy the day watching movies, knitting or whatever I wanted to do since I am not working.

As I like to do, I played DJ on Facebook again but not all the songs were happy love songs, like J. Geils Band's Love Stinks. That one got a few text messages from my friends to stop. My response... "No way, I'm on a roll. Muahahaha!"

Dinner was interesting. A single friend called late morning and said not to make dinner. He was making dinner for his single friends so he stopped by and dropped off three to-go containers in various sizes around 5pm.

The first was a small salad; the entree was garlic shrimp scampi, rice pilaf and steamed veggies. And the third had the most delicous slice of chocolate cake that he baked and called Death by Triple Chocolate. How sweet of him to do that.

It's funny but I know so many single people that are down in the dumps because they had to celebrate today alone but I loved it. I like my own company and not afraid to be alone as a lot of people are. I feel pity for those who cannot be alone and are desperate to find someone to be in their lives. I learned that we all need time to know how to be alone so that we can give ourselves that gift to learn who we are. That way when we find that special someone, we can cherish that person for who they are and give them their time and space to be alone when it is needed.

Whatever you did today, I hope it was filled with love with that special person and more importantly, for yourself.

Happy birthday, Daddy

Some songs remind me so much of my dad. He was a huge Sinatra and one of his favorite songs was this one, which he sang just as well as ole Blue Eyes himself did.

My dad would have been 75 today and it's sad still that he left us so young. As I sit and listen with tears, I remember all the times we had together and how much he is missed.

We went to the cemetery to say hi, had a picnic lunch and enjoyed the warm, sunny afternoon as we remembered funny stories. It was a great day with lots of laughter in the air as we sat near his grave.

We love you very much, daddy!

Waiting... (another book excerpt)

She stood in the shadows, knowing he was on the way. What would it be like to be face to face with him again after so many years, she wondered? Life had treated her extremely well and she made a success of all that she sought to do. She pulled the collar of her coat up further as not to be seen. She was well known and didn't want her encounter with him to be public knowledge. It was a private moment between her and her past true love.

As she waited, her mind wandered to the past and the memories flooded. Her lips curved into a smile as she remembered waking in his arms on Sunday snowy mornings as he stretched then cuddled close to her. Her lips then dropped into a frown as she remembered the last time they spoke; the harsh words, the shouting and the accusations.

Did he think of her from time to time and wondered how she was doing? Did he miss her as she has missed him on many occasions?

Their lives have become so different and so far from those days she remembered that she wondered if they would have anything in common anymore. Why am I here, she thought? Am I doing the right thing by coming here? The questions started to flood her mind and she started to turn to go.

Something caught her eye and she turned back. There he stood, the streetlight overhead, beaming down on him as if to say “here I am.” She could tell he was beaming with that smile she loved so well.

He walked towards her, his leather jacket snug around his body as jeans covered his long, muscular legs. Missing was the usual ball cap that she could never get him to give up.

He looked down at her into her hazel eyes and pulled her into his arms for the tightest hug she has ever felt...

Detours in Life

Funny how things change in an instant, isn't it?

A few years ago, I was comfortable in my life and where I was going but then got a jolt and it awoken me to what I had been doing and where I could go. I found that the possibilities are endless and it has made a huge difference in my life on how I see things.

I don't fear obstacles now but welcome them with an open heart. It allows me to know how far I can go without breaking and I find I can bend a lot more than I thought.

When life throws you detours, how do you react? Next time, be aware of it and see if there is something different you can do or perhaps how you can think.

You might surprise yourself on how strong and how bendable you really are in most situations.

Bring on the detours and make the most of your life.

Second Chances

We meet people and first impressions may deceive us for various reasons; the person may have been nervous or you may have been; you or that person had a bad day so how you or they came across may have not been how you or they actually are.

For whatever reason, sometimes we need to take a step back and consider giving it another chance.

Lots of times, we have decided in our heads how the person is based on how we would like the person to be. First mistake. We need to allow each person to be who they are so that we get an accurate picture and allow a possible friendship to grow.

We have to stop ourselves from being quick to judge someone as you may lose out on someone special to be in your life, male or female.

We need to remember we are not perfect and as human we make mistakes. Everyone deserves a second chance to show the real person behind that mask we may wear to protect ourselves on the initial meeting. I think we wear the masks because as much as we all may have good hearts, we have been hurt in the past and know how it feels to be rejected. We become wary of new people.

In order to know someone well, we have to risk that and open our hearts and minds to allow people in so that we can find if they are meant to be in your lives.

I understand it is hard. I had a hard time getting back into dating because I had been hurt and didn't have a lot of trust after that. I realized that I was not allowing someone else to know me and wasn't allowing me to know others. Once I stopped closing myself off, I found that even though I may have not clicked with my dates in an intimate way, most of us have clicked as friends so my circle of friends have grown a bit, which is a wonderful thing.

One thing I will say... always trust your gut. Your intuition is your inner voice and it tells you when you should or should not do something including when you meet someone new who could be a potential best friend or life mate. If you get a bad feeling, then perhaps your inner voice hears something and is warning you.

Here is to allowing second chances and finding wonderful people to bring into your lives.

Fortunate Accident

Back in early October of last year, I wrote a quick blog called "Fate, Destiny... Serendipity."

I got the idea to write about it from the movie, Serendipity, as it is one of my favorites. Two people meeting by chance, get this connection they cannot understand, go their separate ways and then by some unknown pull by the Universe, they find one another again. Yes, it is a romance but it can apply to anyone that comes into our lives.

Can you tell I watched it again?  It seems every time I watch it, I get more out of it; a message so I make a mental note and let it sink in.

I often wonder if life is predestined or changes with decisions we make and with the people that come into our lives. Maybe the changes make certain people come in or they keep those that were supposed to come in, away.

I have had some major experiences in my life the past few years but more so, the last couple that made me rethink where I was going and who was going along with me.

Specifically, I had two people who impacted my life severely and made me change the way I see people and how I interact now.

They are both no longer part of my life but they each brought something to me to teach. And that is what life is about, isn't it? Learning as we go along.

I think meeting them both was a fortunate accident or serendipity. I needed them in my life to show me my weaknesses, my strengths, my abilities, my fears and insecurities. To show that life has so many good moments as well as challenging ones.

I have learned to love someone deeply and unconditionally. I know that I will always be grateful to him for that. One day, I will be able to give that love to someone who will return it, the way I deserve.

I live a quiet life. I rarely go online to chat with people unless it is with my nieces. I am an artisan; knit and crochet for my business and doing fine. I have a handful of friends that I spend my time with. I am finishing a book that I have been writing for a few years. I am making a huge change and moving to Connecticut to see if that is where I want to end my life's journey or to see if it is just another stopping point for a bit.

All in all, I have had a wonderful life so far and as many people who have come into my life and left, there are have been so many more than have left and returned so that we have been able to continue from the last moment we had.

Do you believe in serendipity?

Acquaintance vs. True Friend

An acquaintance seeks to talk with you about your problems.

A true friend seeks to help you with your problems.

An acquaintance wonders about your romantic history.

A true friend could blackmail you with it.

An acquaintance thinks the friendship is over when you have an argument.

A true friend knows that it's not a friendship until after you've had a fight.

An acquaintance expects you to always be there for them.

A true friend expects to always be there for you.

Painting Meditation

It has been a couple long days as I help my best friend, Kris, paint her new house. Being a first time owner and trying to save money for a wood floor and new fireplace facing as well as wanting to purchase a hot tub for the backyard, we decided we would paint all the walls before the new floor gets put in on Monday.

As most of you know, I meditate every day so saying that painting is like meditation sounds funny but I found it to be true. Yesterday was the prep work for our painting, i.e., taping, laying out the dropclothes in certain rooms, etc, that we just were in motion the whole day but we did manage to get an hour or two of primer painting in while we talked. And yes, I felt it last night but by this morning, I was good to go.

This morning, the painting started earlier and since her iPod player was going with lots of great one hit wonders, we were not talking but just listening and painting.

What was interesting to note as the day passed, I got into this intense focus; getting the paint on the ceiling and painting from the middle of the ceiling towards the wall, then down. It almost became like a chant inside me and I realized that I was so focused, that it became like a meditation for me. Everything around me became quiet except the swish of the paint roller. In a way, my movements were like Tai chi chuan or better know in the western world as Tai chi. Fluid and slow but strong. As much as it is a martial art, it is also a way to exercise, that I have found to be better than yoga, most times.

By the time my friend said 'let's call it quits for the day,' my mind was very relaxed as if I had done a couple hours of meditation. So the next time you find yourself having to paint walls, maybe it can be turned into meditation as you work.

Now I am looking forward to tomorrow and more painting meditation.

To your spiritual and mental health, namaste.