Wednesday, September 29, 2010

Potentialality of Love

You make plans. Detailed plans, step by step. Ready to execute. Then wham, it all crumbles around you. You fall for someone. The potentiality of love can push the best laid plans aside with a tiny flick of a finger.

It doesn't mean that the person returns your feelings but just that potential, that feeling you get when you think you might be in love, changes the course of your life and you don't look back until it is over or if it continues, you see how it affected you.

I watch my friend every day, her phone never more than a couple inches from her fingers, texting a different guy every other day or week, because that potentiality of love pushes her to keep doing it even when it doesn't work out. Trust me, she has been getting to know over 300 guys in the last three years yet not end up with one. She meets each one and the usual route has been they don't call, email or text her after the initial meeting so she moves on to the next. I get tired for Mary.

I use to think it was sad but I have come to realize that some people just need that in their lives because they don't know how to give it to themselves or they don't know how to be alone and enjoy it.

It is not a bad thing, in fact, it is lots of fun to do that whole online dating. I know. I got to know a few guys, who are still friends, that way. I am a hard nut to crack and very cynical about love, though I believe in it deeply. I just don't fall in love. I get to where I like them, respect them or care about them but it is rare that I fall for them. I never took any of them seriously until one fateful Saturday morning.

I thought, "yeah, another one smooth talker" but his words were different. As we got to know each other, he understood me more than anyone had ever in my life and we got on for almost 3 years. But in the end, it was not meant to be.

Everyone wants love. Yes, I do, too. Funny how it is always just that potential of love, not actual love, that can sidetrack a person off-course, lead them astray or make them do things they would never do before.

So with that, I wish you love. I wish you the anticipation of it coming. I wish you the excitement of meeting that one person who will share it with you. I wish you the sensation of feeling it. And I hope that when you have it, you treat it with reverence and kindness; keep it simple and honest and don't ever take it or the person for granted. And most of all, do not put any expectations or stipulations on love... if you do, it is not love.

Love and light to you all.

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