People always wonder what mindfulness means and I think that if you ask 5 people, you would get 5 different answers.
This is strictly my opinion from my learnings growing up in Japan, learning about daily routines of the Japanese people and their lives, including my mom.
In the 1970's, clinical psychologists/psychiatrists "created," and I use the term loosely, techniques for people to use to calm the stresses in their lives, to understand the world around them and dim the depression that people feel by giving them a different way to cope with their feelings and thoughts. In the new era, they are handing out prescriptions for anti-depressants like candy, which I don't agree with. You are not handling the problem but masking it.
Within the Buddhist religion, the so-called techniques go back centuries and have much more deeper meanings. What we know of as meditation is first and foremost used.
The way it is define in psychology books is as "a non-judgmental awareness of our present, in which each thought, feeling, or sensation that comes up is given acknowledgement and accepted as is." In simple terms, "It is what it is." It's funny but I say that all the time so my friends have coined it as "my quote."
What does that mean, though? Say you feel sad. You know the feeling. You feel it in your head, your heart and in your body. It is there so you accept it. There is nothing to change about it because it is ok to feel that way. But you don't act on it. What I mean is, if you are sad, it is ok to cry, to step back and pull away so you can go through the emotions and to feel it but you once it is done, don't alienate yourself from others because of it.
It is being aligned with yourself. Knowing how you feel and letting it come through without guilt, which unfortunately is something that was taught to us over the years. We have to be happy. We cannot show our sadness because it is a weakness. How wrong we have been all these years to do that to humanity. We have so many who are taught that and each year, depression becomes the highest form of illness in people.
Without our minds, our bodies wither away.
I grew up knowing a certain type of Zen. It was practiced by everyone in Japan without being attached to a religion because believe it or not, 35% of Japanese are Catholics but still practice Zen within their daily lives. I never knew the full name until recently when I came across an article about it; Bompu Zen.
Philip Kapleau, who was a teacher of Zen Buddhist explains that "Bompu Zen, being free from any philosophy or religious content, is for anybody and everybody. It is a Zen practiced purely in the belief that it can improve both physical and mental health. Since it can almost certainly have no ill effects, anyone can undertake it, whatever religious beliefs they happen to hold or if they hold none at all. Bompu Zen is bound to eliminate sickness of a psychosomatic nature and to improve the health generally."
Therefore, it is good for those who have mental issues with depression and other mind related illnesses or stress.
Have you ever taken the time to really feel an emotion? Let it take you over completely and you swim in it. It is hard to come out of it when you are completely inundated with it. But you know that once it is over, it will let you go and you can feel better.
Let me digress for a little bit.
This is a simple explanation and by no means a way to diagnose yourself but depression starts when you feel an emotion, one you don't want to face and don't let it loose. You push it down and it settles. Again, something else happens, the emotion is bottled down on top of the other one and it starts to grow but it has not caught you yet. Now imagine you go years with this... it finally catches up to you and all those emotions you have had inside, come tumbling out but you cannot control it and it overtakes your mind. Depression starts.
You feel out of control. You feel lost. You feel like you are drowning. What do most of us do? Cover it by drinking too much. Doing drugs that numb you. Eating too much and other behaviors that cover it all. Unfortunately, they are all temporary solutions. Eventually it takes over and you go down and when you do, it is with a BANG.
It hurts like hell when you finally come face to face with all those emotions you kept bottled inside and you can only lie there in a ball as your heart and mind are ripped to shreds and weep uncontrollably. At that point, you have clarity and it becomes an awakening you don't want to see but ultimately you have to face, which is hard because as you face them, you also come to the realization of all the people you hurt and all the things you said and did without meaning, that you now have to own. That is a hard place to be when you finally awaken.
The other side is that you never see because it ends in death. People say things like, "they took the easy way out." How would they know and is it really? Have you tried to kill yourself? It is hard. Your instinct to survive kicks in and it stops you. How can I say that? I was in a deep depression once and tried. It was an experience I will never try again but I know how close I was to that edge and it scared the hell out of me. Either way, this is one topic we cannot discuss accurately because no one who has died has come back to tell us. But it was a choice they made and did. It is what it is.
Ok, back to mindfulness.
Another thing about it. It is about being connected to people but not being attached to them. Yes, there is a difference.
Our energies are all connected. I know some hate to think that way but we are ultimately, a collective energy source of the Universe. I am not here to convince you or to make you think my way, but that is just what I believe.
Let me give you a couple examples. My mom is very intuitive and on many occasions, she would call and and we would chat but on some occasions, she would just come out and say, what is going on? I feel something from you. I could be sad, angry or not feeling and she would just know and call.
Another experience I had with being connected to someone was I was driving home from grocery shopping a couple years ago and I felt this overwhelming sadness from out of nowhere when I was in a very good mood. I had this feeling that I had to get home quickly because I was going to get a phone call. The moment I stepped into my place, my cell phone rang and his voice came on. I could tell immediately he was not in a good place by his voice. We talked for hours and at the end, before we hung up, he said, "thank you for being there for me. I rushed home today because I was feeling really sad and needed to hear your voice. I just needed to talk to you." That is when I knew it was his energy calling to me while I was driving. I had that strong connection with him a lot of times while I knew him.
We can be connected to certain people more strongly but we don't need to become attached to them. That is another part of mindfulness. Being connected but not attached allows for each of us to grow, expand and change. With the connection, it allows you to accept that in everyone. If we get attached, what happens is that we don't want change or if we do, we want it to be our way, not theirs. There is a danger to that and ultimately, it ends a lot of relationships or friendships.
Ok, I think I went on enough that you know a little about what it is. You can make your own decision and research it more on your own or send me an email and we can talk about your view so that I can expand my knowledge.
Here are some exercises that you can do to promote mindfulness:
Meditation
This is strictly my opinion from my learnings growing up in Japan, learning about daily routines of the Japanese people and their lives, including my mom.
In the 1970's, clinical psychologists/psychiatrists "created," and I use the term loosely, techniques for people to use to calm the stresses in their lives, to understand the world around them and dim the depression that people feel by giving them a different way to cope with their feelings and thoughts. In the new era, they are handing out prescriptions for anti-depressants like candy, which I don't agree with. You are not handling the problem but masking it.
Within the Buddhist religion, the so-called techniques go back centuries and have much more deeper meanings. What we know of as meditation is first and foremost used.
The way it is define in psychology books is as "a non-judgmental awareness of our present, in which each thought, feeling, or sensation that comes up is given acknowledgement and accepted as is." In simple terms, "It is what it is." It's funny but I say that all the time so my friends have coined it as "my quote."
What does that mean, though? Say you feel sad. You know the feeling. You feel it in your head, your heart and in your body. It is there so you accept it. There is nothing to change about it because it is ok to feel that way. But you don't act on it. What I mean is, if you are sad, it is ok to cry, to step back and pull away so you can go through the emotions and to feel it but you once it is done, don't alienate yourself from others because of it.
It is being aligned with yourself. Knowing how you feel and letting it come through without guilt, which unfortunately is something that was taught to us over the years. We have to be happy. We cannot show our sadness because it is a weakness. How wrong we have been all these years to do that to humanity. We have so many who are taught that and each year, depression becomes the highest form of illness in people.
Without our minds, our bodies wither away.
I grew up knowing a certain type of Zen. It was practiced by everyone in Japan without being attached to a religion because believe it or not, 35% of Japanese are Catholics but still practice Zen within their daily lives. I never knew the full name until recently when I came across an article about it; Bompu Zen.
Philip Kapleau, who was a teacher of Zen Buddhist explains that "Bompu Zen, being free from any philosophy or religious content, is for anybody and everybody. It is a Zen practiced purely in the belief that it can improve both physical and mental health. Since it can almost certainly have no ill effects, anyone can undertake it, whatever religious beliefs they happen to hold or if they hold none at all. Bompu Zen is bound to eliminate sickness of a psychosomatic nature and to improve the health generally."
Therefore, it is good for those who have mental issues with depression and other mind related illnesses or stress.
Have you ever taken the time to really feel an emotion? Let it take you over completely and you swim in it. It is hard to come out of it when you are completely inundated with it. But you know that once it is over, it will let you go and you can feel better.
Let me digress for a little bit.
This is a simple explanation and by no means a way to diagnose yourself but depression starts when you feel an emotion, one you don't want to face and don't let it loose. You push it down and it settles. Again, something else happens, the emotion is bottled down on top of the other one and it starts to grow but it has not caught you yet. Now imagine you go years with this... it finally catches up to you and all those emotions you have had inside, come tumbling out but you cannot control it and it overtakes your mind. Depression starts.
You feel out of control. You feel lost. You feel like you are drowning. What do most of us do? Cover it by drinking too much. Doing drugs that numb you. Eating too much and other behaviors that cover it all. Unfortunately, they are all temporary solutions. Eventually it takes over and you go down and when you do, it is with a BANG.
It hurts like hell when you finally come face to face with all those emotions you kept bottled inside and you can only lie there in a ball as your heart and mind are ripped to shreds and weep uncontrollably. At that point, you have clarity and it becomes an awakening you don't want to see but ultimately you have to face, which is hard because as you face them, you also come to the realization of all the people you hurt and all the things you said and did without meaning, that you now have to own. That is a hard place to be when you finally awaken.
The other side is that you never see because it ends in death. People say things like, "they took the easy way out." How would they know and is it really? Have you tried to kill yourself? It is hard. Your instinct to survive kicks in and it stops you. How can I say that? I was in a deep depression once and tried. It was an experience I will never try again but I know how close I was to that edge and it scared the hell out of me. Either way, this is one topic we cannot discuss accurately because no one who has died has come back to tell us. But it was a choice they made and did. It is what it is.
Ok, back to mindfulness.
Another thing about it. It is about being connected to people but not being attached to them. Yes, there is a difference.
Our energies are all connected. I know some hate to think that way but we are ultimately, a collective energy source of the Universe. I am not here to convince you or to make you think my way, but that is just what I believe.
Let me give you a couple examples. My mom is very intuitive and on many occasions, she would call and and we would chat but on some occasions, she would just come out and say, what is going on? I feel something from you. I could be sad, angry or not feeling and she would just know and call.
Another experience I had with being connected to someone was I was driving home from grocery shopping a couple years ago and I felt this overwhelming sadness from out of nowhere when I was in a very good mood. I had this feeling that I had to get home quickly because I was going to get a phone call. The moment I stepped into my place, my cell phone rang and his voice came on. I could tell immediately he was not in a good place by his voice. We talked for hours and at the end, before we hung up, he said, "thank you for being there for me. I rushed home today because I was feeling really sad and needed to hear your voice. I just needed to talk to you." That is when I knew it was his energy calling to me while I was driving. I had that strong connection with him a lot of times while I knew him.
We can be connected to certain people more strongly but we don't need to become attached to them. That is another part of mindfulness. Being connected but not attached allows for each of us to grow, expand and change. With the connection, it allows you to accept that in everyone. If we get attached, what happens is that we don't want change or if we do, we want it to be our way, not theirs. There is a danger to that and ultimately, it ends a lot of relationships or friendships.
Ok, I think I went on enough that you know a little about what it is. You can make your own decision and research it more on your own or send me an email and we can talk about your view so that I can expand my knowledge.
Here are some exercises that you can do to promote mindfulness:
Meditation
This one is a hard one to start because your mind likes to wander, especially if it is the type to overwork itself. I am guilty of that at times. Taking the time to empty your mind, allows the emotions to recheck themselves, gives your mind the time to adjust to handle them. Start with 5 minutes a day and continue to increase the time you meditate until you get to an hour a day. You will find that your day is easier to handle and nothing gets you down.
Deep Breathing
Taking time to stop and breath in deep, gives you time to step back and re-adjust your thinking. To do this, you just sit in a quiet place or even if you cannot find a quiet place at work, go into your car and do it. Sit tall, hands on your lap and breath in deep and slow and hold for 5 seconds. Breath out slowly. Breath in slow and deep again and continue. Do this for 5 minutes and you will find that it has calmed you and your mind. Doing this from time to time during the day, keeps you stress free.
Music
This one is hard because we all have different taste in music but one way to re-adjust your thinking is changing the kind of music you listen to. If you are in a melancholy mood, it is ok to listen to that type of music, if it gets you through that moment but if it adds to the mood, change it to upbeat, danceable music to allow your mind to change its thinking. One music I find helps a lot of people is classical as it had no lyrics and you can flow with it.
Cleaning
Oh, yeah. Cleaning house can change how you feel. If you start off feeling blue, you start to clean and at the end, you look around and you are surrounded by a nice environment, it uplifts you and gives you a better feeling inside. You accomplished something so that will help to change your thought process as well.
Feel Your Thoughts
When it hits you, allow it to come through. If it is sadness, let the tears flow. If you are upset or angry, allow it to vent. Once it has come through, think about it constructively, accept that it happened and then let it go. There are times we have to hold it in when you are around people but once you are alone, it is good for you to let it out and have its way. That way you can face it and allow it to go.
Choice
One more thing... choose how you think. This is a huge step in mindfulness. You choose how your day will be. There are a couple quote that I like. One is by Abraham Lincoln. "People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be." The other author is unknown but the quote is, "Change your mind, change your attitude." You have the power to choose your thoughts and change your mind. Another good quote... "Attitude is everything!"
Well, now that I got you snoozing, I will close by saying, I hope that if you feel blue a lot of times, you take the time to seek someone to talk to. Don't try to do this on your own. It helps to get it out and to let your mind be cleared off negative thoughts.
Once you own your past, remember that you may have hurt people and you need to go back and redeem yourself. That was a hard thing for me to do but once I finished, a great weight lifted each time with each person. I am a better friend to them now than I was then and it made me better for the experience as I am sure it will for you as well.
As always, I am truly humbled by your light.
Deep Breathing
Taking time to stop and breath in deep, gives you time to step back and re-adjust your thinking. To do this, you just sit in a quiet place or even if you cannot find a quiet place at work, go into your car and do it. Sit tall, hands on your lap and breath in deep and slow and hold for 5 seconds. Breath out slowly. Breath in slow and deep again and continue. Do this for 5 minutes and you will find that it has calmed you and your mind. Doing this from time to time during the day, keeps you stress free.
Music
This one is hard because we all have different taste in music but one way to re-adjust your thinking is changing the kind of music you listen to. If you are in a melancholy mood, it is ok to listen to that type of music, if it gets you through that moment but if it adds to the mood, change it to upbeat, danceable music to allow your mind to change its thinking. One music I find helps a lot of people is classical as it had no lyrics and you can flow with it.
Cleaning
Oh, yeah. Cleaning house can change how you feel. If you start off feeling blue, you start to clean and at the end, you look around and you are surrounded by a nice environment, it uplifts you and gives you a better feeling inside. You accomplished something so that will help to change your thought process as well.
Feel Your Thoughts
When it hits you, allow it to come through. If it is sadness, let the tears flow. If you are upset or angry, allow it to vent. Once it has come through, think about it constructively, accept that it happened and then let it go. There are times we have to hold it in when you are around people but once you are alone, it is good for you to let it out and have its way. That way you can face it and allow it to go.
Choice
One more thing... choose how you think. This is a huge step in mindfulness. You choose how your day will be. There are a couple quote that I like. One is by Abraham Lincoln. "People are just about as happy as they make up their minds to be." The other author is unknown but the quote is, "Change your mind, change your attitude." You have the power to choose your thoughts and change your mind. Another good quote... "Attitude is everything!"
Well, now that I got you snoozing, I will close by saying, I hope that if you feel blue a lot of times, you take the time to seek someone to talk to. Don't try to do this on your own. It helps to get it out and to let your mind be cleared off negative thoughts.
Once you own your past, remember that you may have hurt people and you need to go back and redeem yourself. That was a hard thing for me to do but once I finished, a great weight lifted each time with each person. I am a better friend to them now than I was then and it made me better for the experience as I am sure it will for you as well.
As always, I am truly humbled by your light.
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