A little hostility? Yeah, I guess.
My daughter-in-law, Rose, lost her brother last week. She is hurting and at a loss. I feel helpless because I cannot take away her pain and I am sad that she is going through this.
I lost a friend yesterday. She silently slipped away while she slept. Shock cannot even come close to what I felt at the news. I am just sad, not just for me but her friends and her family.
She wasn't a close friend but she did something for me almost 30 years ago that I have always kept in my heart. She made me feel very welcomed to a new place, new job. She introduced me to so many people and showed me around the place, my head was spinning but it was so much fun. She was a few years younger than me and enjoyed life her way, no excuses even if it might not be agreed upon by others, especially her family. Back then, she was very young, vivacious, risk-taking, fun-loving gal who was so alive with life. I was in my mid 20's, married and a young mom, still learning the ropes. I admired her guts, her flair, her open mind and heart whereas I was cautious, quiet and introvertive. We hung out for a bit until she graduated from high school and I started to make friends my age but we also never lost touch; we would see one another, from time to time and catch up.
Several years after working, Brooke had quit by this time, I met up with a couple that just started to work for BGP. By invitation, I went to their home for a summer BBQ and lo and behold, Brooke was there. The woman was Brooke's mom. Talk about small world. Carol and Ron have since become very dear friends of mine and as much sadness I felt at Brooke's passing, I cannot imagine the pain that Carol and Ron are going through. Carol had already laid her youngest daughter, Courtney, to rest around Thanksgiving of 2002, leaving two young sons in Carol and Ron's care.
What made me write this was what Carol posted on her page. "Wondering why? Trying to understand."
Why does a young, healthy woman pass away in her sleep? Why does she not get the chance to see her boys fall in love, get married, have children and see them become the men she wishes for them to be?
Why does a man have to leave his wife, son, friends and family without any reason?
Why cannot these fucking questions be answered?
There never will be satisfactory answers because it won't bring those people back like we want. We have to do what we always do. Just accept that it is what it is and move on. It sounds so callous, doesn't it but isn't that what we all have done with our losses? The human race knows that death is part of life but we tend to forget that while we are in the living. It's when it happens close to home that we are cruelly reminded.
With the 9th anniversary of my father's death coming in 3 days, it is making my feelings more vivid for me right now, so am feeling the sadness more intensely. The 'if onlys' still come into my head but I have to remind myself it doesn't change the outcome.
I think the best way to honor someone you lose is to live your life fully and wholly so they can live vicariously through you from wherever they ended up.
God speed.
My daughter-in-law, Rose, lost her brother last week. She is hurting and at a loss. I feel helpless because I cannot take away her pain and I am sad that she is going through this.
I lost a friend yesterday. She silently slipped away while she slept. Shock cannot even come close to what I felt at the news. I am just sad, not just for me but her friends and her family.
She wasn't a close friend but she did something for me almost 30 years ago that I have always kept in my heart. She made me feel very welcomed to a new place, new job. She introduced me to so many people and showed me around the place, my head was spinning but it was so much fun. She was a few years younger than me and enjoyed life her way, no excuses even if it might not be agreed upon by others, especially her family. Back then, she was very young, vivacious, risk-taking, fun-loving gal who was so alive with life. I was in my mid 20's, married and a young mom, still learning the ropes. I admired her guts, her flair, her open mind and heart whereas I was cautious, quiet and introvertive. We hung out for a bit until she graduated from high school and I started to make friends my age but we also never lost touch; we would see one another, from time to time and catch up.
Several years after working, Brooke had quit by this time, I met up with a couple that just started to work for BGP. By invitation, I went to their home for a summer BBQ and lo and behold, Brooke was there. The woman was Brooke's mom. Talk about small world. Carol and Ron have since become very dear friends of mine and as much sadness I felt at Brooke's passing, I cannot imagine the pain that Carol and Ron are going through. Carol had already laid her youngest daughter, Courtney, to rest around Thanksgiving of 2002, leaving two young sons in Carol and Ron's care.
What made me write this was what Carol posted on her page. "Wondering why? Trying to understand."
Why does a young, healthy woman pass away in her sleep? Why does she not get the chance to see her boys fall in love, get married, have children and see them become the men she wishes for them to be?
Why does a man have to leave his wife, son, friends and family without any reason?
Why cannot these fucking questions be answered?
There never will be satisfactory answers because it won't bring those people back like we want. We have to do what we always do. Just accept that it is what it is and move on. It sounds so callous, doesn't it but isn't that what we all have done with our losses? The human race knows that death is part of life but we tend to forget that while we are in the living. It's when it happens close to home that we are cruelly reminded.
With the 9th anniversary of my father's death coming in 3 days, it is making my feelings more vivid for me right now, so am feeling the sadness more intensely. The 'if onlys' still come into my head but I have to remind myself it doesn't change the outcome.
I think the best way to honor someone you lose is to live your life fully and wholly so they can live vicariously through you from wherever they ended up.
God speed.
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