That David Bowie song came on the radio as I was driving to my lunch date with this guy I met at the gym. It made me smile because I am doing so many things that are different than I did in the past. Lots of changes.
I was still smiling when we met and he asked me what was up. So I told him a little about my journey of the past few years.
Me working out as much as I am... I haven't done that in over 15 years when I used to run a fitness center and even then it was half-assed. I mean, I am working out 2-3 hours every day and actually enjoying it. Love how my body gets sore and fatigued but how I can push through it and do more. Keeping track of what I eat and drink (yes, very little vino these days) and I love how it makes me feel.
The last time I loved working out this much was when I was swimming back in my youth. I think when it turned on me was when I went to the Junior Olympics and placed second place in the 400 yard backstroke. I didn't view that in the right way back then and it kind of took the fun out of swimming and working out after that.
I think about it now and think... I mean, come on... I was in the Junior Olympics and I placed second! What an amazing experience I had yet I didn't enjoy it because I placed second.
Hind sight is 20/20 but it is the things like that, that make you rethink your life and had I had the tools back then that I have today, I would have made better choices.
A few years back, after not dating for almost 10 years, I gave love another chance. What happened? I got burned pretty bad so I pulled back. And waited... waited for what, I could not tell you but I did. Maybe it was time to heal; time to talk to people to get the tools I needed to get through that ordeal. What made it worse then was that I was going through full blown menopause and didn't even realize it until after the fact. The hormones do some wonderfully evil things to your body and your mind. But, it is what it is.
And it was too late to rectify or resolve anything between us because it was not what it was supposed to be. I thought it was a lifelong friendship but in fact, it was just someone bored, using another person to humor himself to get the attention of his girlfriend that he kept breaking up with and getting back together (not that I knew until after the fact). He finally got what he wanted. I hope she gets the wedding ring she seeks because that is all she wants from him; commitment for a lifetime. Bless them both for trying in the name of love.
In all the changes I made recently, besides moving and living in an area with no family and little friends, working as a journalist and working out, I decided to give love another chance again. Open the door and let people in. See where it goes and not put any expectation on anything and more importantly, on anybody. Just live in the moment and enjoy. Now that is a huge change for me.
The date? It went very well and we are fast becoming friends. It's all good. I need more friends around here.
What changes can you make to spice up your life? Are there things you dreamed of doing and hold back? Ask yourself why. Life is truly short and you don't want to be on your deathbed, looking back and realizing that you never really live but only existed.
Dream big, then go out and make it happen!
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