Lessons Learned

I haven't been writing much lately due to the change in my job situation and the transition job I have gone into. Talk about busy... watch what you ask for. Countdown has begun and I have 2 months before I leave my current company due to the layoffs unless I can find another job before then. If not, Connecticut, here I come!  LOL

These past few weeks have been interesting and brings the gift of lessons once more. I have written letters and emails to people to thank them for coming in or passing through my life  and giving those gifts to me. I have also severed ties with some who bring nothing but drama and take my energy away with their facades of frienship. Yes, in a way they are giving me a gift to learn how to deal with those types of people but at the same token, I am the most important person in my life and I have to take care of me first to be and do the best I can so the best course of action is to let go. I have also have had old friends return and we are now standing on more stable grounds and have good relationships.

Having lost our closest family friend this week made me melancholy for times when I was most happiest throughout my life. Times when I was a child and didn't have a care in the world. The happier times of my marriage when I felt like I was being cared for and loved. Meeting and getting to know the one man that showed me what love truly is for the first time in my life and finally knowing that feeling of completeness with someone.

With the good, we have to take the bad or the sad for that is how life is. How can we ever know how good we have it, if we don't experience how bad or sad life can be? Not everything lasts no matter who many promises are made. Life changes. I grew up. My marriage ended. I don't have that one man in my life anymore but alas, more lessons that have given me strength and courage to take on harder things in life and to search for the one person I was meant to be with.

I had a dream a couple of weeks ago that my mom called me and said that a family friend had died. I told my daughter and best friend about it then let it go even though it bothered me a great deal. The last time I had a dream like that was many years ago and it had come true. One of my dad's friends had passed. I am not happy to know this one came to fruition as well but she had Alzheimer's and a bad heart problem so it was only time before she was gone.  She was in her early 80s so she lived a good, long life and went in her sleep. The way I think most of us want to go. As someone once said, we just go into forever sleep. I like that now.

Unfortunately, here I am awake early as always on a Saturday, after a week of overtime (27 hours) so yeah, I am burnt. But my mind is going on overdrive so I had to stop to meditate, do some yoga and lastly, write to get it out.

As life changes, we change with it and hopefully all that we have learned takes us on the path in a better direction than we were on. We meet people along the way to give us these lessons or to be that support and comfort during the lessons. Some days, we feel supported and surrounded by love and others, we feel alone and isolated.  All valid feelings to hold close.

I think people are scared to think of or face the bad or sad times in their lives so they hide from it. It does come back over and over so many turn to drugs and alcohol to numb the feeling. Or find a person to hide behind to avoid the truth of themselves because they cannot look in the mirror and know they are not genuine with others or to themselves. That, in turn, causes major stress all the time because they don't deal with it. To know it is absolutely ok to be weak and not have a clue is something that needs to be taught growing up. I know that we are always taught to be a certain way and that we can only show our happy faces.  Bull shit! I taught my daughter that all feelings are valid because I don't want her to go through her life thinking she has to be happy all the time. That is not reality. Reality is much tougher and not as kind as we would like it to be.

I am closing in on the 50 year mark but I know that I still have a lot to learn and I really want to learn all I can about people, life and circumstances. I meet all kinds of people from different countries and lifestyles in my business and I absolutely love it. It opens you up to change, to new ideas and not get stuck in one thing, music type or ideal.

Life is about all the lessons we learn and how we use it to change us to move forward in our lives. Let the bad happen so you can appreciate the good. Let the sad happen so you can appreciate the happy. Just be open to it all and you will expand your mind, your heart and most important, your soul.

The light in my honors the light in you.