PLEASANTON, CA - An Amador Valley High School freshman was struck and killed by a train Friday in an apparent suicide, police said.
That's how the newspaper headline read this morning. What it does not say is that the train split her poor little body in half and threw about body parts far enough away for the police to close the whole area off for hours to retrieve them. I know this because one of the officers first on the scene came into the local restaurant last night, sat with us, describing what he saw and will continue to relive over and over in his mind's eye. He was distraught and confused why such a young woman would do that. Was life so bad that she had to end it, he kept asking us.
Her name was Evelyn and she was a Freshman in high school; still young with so much life ahead of her but she was in tremendous pain. Why do I know that? Because in order to relieve herself of the pain she felt, she let it all go in one moment; she stood in front of a speeding train and let it end. That is how I know.
I did not know her personally but an acquaintance of mine did, as her son was a friend of the young woman. She said that Evelyn was a little off and when they had gone to D.C. last year, she wondered about her but she did say that she seemed to be a good kid, nice and got along with everyone.
There are always signs that are apparent but most we do not catch. I wondered if anyone thought to ask her if she was ok because of how she acted.
Unfortunately, there is nothing we can do for her now but I do know that we can do something for those around us. My advice to you is to grab your kids, spouse, loved ones and give them all a great big hug and tell them you love them. Don't just say the words, show them that you love them.
Life gets in the way, we get sidetracked and forget to show our family and friends what they mean to us and times like this becomes a reminder to do just that. Because one day, they won't be around for us to say the words or to give the hugs and kisses. A quick phone call to chat for a bit or just to say you care makes a difference in anyone's life.
I know that Evelyn is in a better place now and will find her peace but those of us here on this realm will wonder what we could have done for her to allow her to live her life happily and contently. Her time is done but maybe we can catch another child in pain and extend out a helping hand or a comforting hug.
I ask that you send prayers and thoughts to Evelyn's family and friends to allow them to heal quickly and to find their peace with what has happened.
With healing light to you all.
Do you really think that second paragraph will help the children of Pleasanton who read this?
ReplyDeleteYour point of the rest of your post is well taken and I hope you are right. But that description has no place where our children can read it.
Please think of others before you post.
signed
A parent of a sad AVHS student and friend of the deceased
Thank you for sharing your words. I hope that others can take them as they are meant to be, full of love and hope and healing.
ReplyDeleteI think that our children need to not be sheltered from the pain of life. It is up to us parents to talk to our kids and connect with them every single moment of every single day to let them know that we love them, we are proud of them and if there is anything they need to talk about we are there. Also to let them know if they aren't comfortable talking to us, we will find them someone to talk to to aid in their healing.
That is what I believe is missing in our society and communities today.
The second paragraph was necessary. Plain, simple and a powerful message to all kids. If you stand in the way of a train, you will be killed in a horrific manner. PERIOD!
ReplyDeleteI don't get it. It is ok for kids to play video games that mame, butcher, mangle, dismember and kill each other and talk about it at school like it is nothing. Where is the logic, please?
The truth of the matter is that we don't want to face our failures as adults or as her friends for letting her down so we look to blame something or someone who has nothing to do with situation.
I take my responsibility as an adult, as a parent and as a spiritual educator seriously and I believe that we have to tell the kids the truth so that the next child that is in that tremendous amount of mental anguish will take another course of action or will seek help but not stand in front of a train to end their pain.
There is a time and place to shelter our kids from the truth but this is not one of them. How many more kids have to violently commit suicide before adults open their eyes and extend a helping hand?
What did anyone do when they thought she was a little weird except to explain it off as her being a teen? Can someone answer that question before judging how the description of her death is unnecessary? She was not unnecessary so how she died is just as important as how she tried to live because her life should have meant something, not be swept under the carpet or be pushed aside.
I weep for that girl who could not say the words to get the help she needed. I also pray that kids will find the courage to live rather than take their own lives.