I got into a conversation today with a couple friends over coffee about what is better... being single or being attached, i.e., married, living together or serious relationship.
They are both married and have been for almost 30 years. Tommy is still happily married but Kat confessed that she was not exactly unhappy as she still respects and cares for her husband but not sure where she is in this stage in life and in the marriage.
She mentioned that she thought I had it good being single and can go anywhere without worrying about someone else. I countered that I thought she had it good that she has someone to go home to. There are pros and cons to "flying solo" as well as being attached.
I told them of my experiences in the last couple years of having friends that are serial daters, obsessives over finding a partner and those like me that date once in a while but aren't really looking for anything serious but if the right person comes along, we might reconsider. I usually ended up hanging out with those friends a lot.
Now the serial daters have some great stories; when he or she would date someone for a bit then break it off, they would want to get together and talk about why it never works out. Bottom line, they are enjoying the time with the people they date but they cannot commit.
I have a guy friend who is obsessed with finding a wife. He wants to be married so bad, he has been making some bad choices in girlfriends. One classic story that he will never live down... she got together with him so that he would fix up her house and once he was done, she dumped him. The funny part of it all is that he is a mechanic and owns a car repair shop.
This woman I knew was married but started to look for a replacement for her husband years before they even talked divorced. Now that she is alone, she is more desperate for a guy, because her ex has a nice girlfriend and has moved on with his life. She is so afraid of being alone that she has become obsessive in finding a guy, instead of learning to love the solitude and herself. It is quite sad.
So it made me wonder as I drove home... who had it better? Me or them? I like my time alone but I think it would be nice to have someone to come home to. Maybe after all these years, it's time; not necessarily marriage but a serious relationship.
What do you think?
Now the serial daters have some great stories; when he or she would date someone for a bit then break it off, they would want to get together and talk about why it never works out. Bottom line, they are enjoying the time with the people they date but they cannot commit.
I have a guy friend who is obsessed with finding a wife. He wants to be married so bad, he has been making some bad choices in girlfriends. One classic story that he will never live down... she got together with him so that he would fix up her house and once he was done, she dumped him. The funny part of it all is that he is a mechanic and owns a car repair shop.
This woman I knew was married but started to look for a replacement for her husband years before they even talked divorced. Now that she is alone, she is more desperate for a guy, because her ex has a nice girlfriend and has moved on with his life. She is so afraid of being alone that she has become obsessive in finding a guy, instead of learning to love the solitude and herself. It is quite sad.
So it made me wonder as I drove home... who had it better? Me or them? I like my time alone but I think it would be nice to have someone to come home to. Maybe after all these years, it's time; not necessarily marriage but a serious relationship.
What do you think?
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