Clean Start to a New Life

There is always a time in your life that things don't go right and you need to start over. Readjust your thinking on how you live your life, who to let in and who to let go. Sure, I have talked about this before.

I need to realize that sometimes external conditions happen to affect decisions that are made that are out of your control. And the big one? Take responsibility for what has happened, even if it hurts too much.

Of couse, I am off to my new life but that doesn't mean I want to leave the bad stuff hanging. In a way, you take it with you so I am cleaning up. I want to leave no stone unturned or any loose ends that were in need of closure.

I talked about this before but I left my hardest out because I was not ready to face them. Now I am and luckily, my list was short and as tough as it was, with a heavy heart and a box of tissues, I typed out my lengthly emails and off they went to close that part of my life. For good, perhaps. I don't know if they will read it, let alone get it since I know one person's email may no longer be a good one but I needed to do it for me. To forgive myself so that I can move on.

It is with tremendous gratitude that I think of each of them. They came into my life when they were needed and made me who I am today. And I am better for it, no matter what.

The thing I had to teach myself is that the blame for what happened lies on both parties, not just my side. So as much as I feel bad, they share the blame for the way our relationship has been or ended.

"Words have power. Words can make or break relationships.

Every word that we speak uselessly is as dangerous as gossiping. Every word that is malicious will or is used to slander will subsequently lead to a degradation of the consciousness.

Every slander that is expressed in a vulgar language and gross terms then that is equivalent to killing our inner conscious. With every slander and gross terms we hurt others and our own self in the long term.

We need to choose our words carefully & it is a choice that we need to make consciously or else we end up with broken hearts and broken relationships."

I read those and knew that some of my words in the past were hurtful as the words and actions of those were hurtful to me. I see my wonderful future and that changes. Every word will be from compassion.

I am off to my new start... wish me luck!